Day23 ~ New Norm. Coping

Im definitely adjusting well and coping fine by doing my own emotions inventory for the past 23 days..

Does it works? Oh yes... i hv it as the wall paper and constantly remind myself.

I do understand.... when the trust is broken.... it gonna get real tough.

I cannot control all that is happening 

But i hv a choice how i react to it.

Move on... Let go... Let God.

I will not lose Myself !!!

Day 22 ~New Norm. 21/90

Im glad.... i survived 21/90... it's really rough for me tough. Able to channel all the energy towards run

Now working towards 90 days to build a new lifestyle without you. Bcos it's getting 过火了。

怎么忍心怪你犯了错　

是我给你自由过了火
让你更寂寞　才会陷入感情漩涡
怎么忍心让你受折磨　

是我给你自由过了火
如果你想飞　伤痛我背

Day21.New Norm ~ Keep Calm

It's over.... keep calm 

Stay Focus... Do my job well

Keep Myself fit and healthy.

And Wait patiently for next BET. 

Because......

Day 20 New Norm. Idiot

Feeling like a Idiot....... 

staring at the phone... checking livescore.... checking the odds....

BUT THERE ISN'T ANY LAST BET!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Still i keep checking.... before i sleep, waking up to pee, first thing in the morning.. 

Oh oh oh... SPURS lost the EPL cup late in the 2nd Half... and SON CRIED!% 

Seibei... fake..... all drama!! Just fake for the sake of social media perhaps? 

🤣🤣🤣

I won't win anything.... this is a scam for idiots like me. Have to learn and shift my focus .... it's really hard. Really hard this time.😭

Day19 ~ New Norm. Game Over

Yup. As what the title of this post indicated.....

Thanks for playing. Things are pretty much clearer now.

Boss trying to prepare me for things ahead i guess.... bet after last bet... and from what i saw on the cards.. i believe and over analyse with what i saw in the behaviour and actions

Can't afford to lose? Then dun play the game.... it's not for one with a weak heart le.... roller coasters high and low which is better than Sex.... it's an Art.

But dun let the loses turn me into a heartless monster.... i am not... and i wont be one. 

Im much much better than that.

Don't need to ask why.... but understand every promises even those on the cards... are merely words

IN THE END.... i just have to tell myself.... THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

 

When lonely again... the addict wld then sing...

当你孤单你会想起谁
你想不想找个'bet'来陪
你的快乐伤悲只有我能体会
让我再陪你走一回

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Day18 ~ Choice

You chosen your adventure... placed your bet and it didnt really work out.... so you wana go back to previous choice as back up?? 

Oh.... i feel guilty now placing that bet?? Har? Will bookie refund you??

Hahahahaha

I really strong... hurt me.... no problem.  I go place another bet!%

Day17. New Norm ~ Listen & Watch

If you wana know someone's mind 

LISTEN TO THEIR WORDS ....

If you wana know someone's heart

WATCH THEIR ACTIONS ....

That's how they define or classified us .... me  .... as ADDICT

As i grow older.... my eye sights become much poorer....

BUT the funny thing is that .. i see thru your bullshit much better too.

我很好骗？？ just bcos i am keeping quiet and staying away all these time.

The last bet is a Drug... toxic and for sure...

However.... I'm still full of gratitude. 🙏🙏🙏

Thanks for making my life worthwhile as it's coming to an end.

Day16 New Norm - Let it go

Let it Hurt

Let it Bleed

Let it Heal slowly

And

Let it go

Never force anything..... no point keep forcing the last bet to let you win... 

You will get cheated over and over again.... even if you said ..

我很好骗。。。。 but it's ok. Remember what i said in the earlier post....

It all starts from Nothing..... and looking at one's behaviour / actions..

It will be ending with Nothing too.

But Addict being Addict.... with the last bet... 有都赌有希望！！

I hate that really....but 

Stay Real or Stay Away. I will respect that

Day15 - Nothing

Maybe ..... Maybe not...

This love hate relationship with the Last Bet ... till today... i realise that it's nothing... started from nothing ...

Keep chasing the last bet.... 

Keep putting in effort last bet....

Keep praying for the last bet....

Keep staying real and faithful to the last bet....

Always staying one side and waiting

Like a tool... a toy.... if there's seem to be no other punters giving you attention... you turn your attention to me...

Stupidly i gave in..... when there's othet punters seeking your attention...

You just fck me one side.... this is cruel.

But it's ok. It's my choice. It's a insult that you said i keep fcking up... fck up fck down... really an insult...

But it's ok. Everything starts from nothing.....

Day14 - Staying Away

If things aren't adding up well..... just like my last bet.... then i hv no choice but to start subtracting .... 

This is Maths of Life.

Im just staying real ... not fake or wanting to create another drama..

Yup... no doubt that im still struggling with the last bet.... but i always stay real. 

If social media is more important than a real person...... 

If updating social media is more important than a real person.....

You are crazy and fake.

This world is simply crazy!! So don't say we addicts are crazy... 

We are Real. Not fake. When we fall, we pick ourselves up and keep going 

Day 13. New Norm - Change

Many said I change alot ......

But the truth is.....

The "Alot" CHANGED ME !!! 

No matter what changes i made....

I wont lose myself... My identity 

Day 12 New Norm ~ REGRET

"Fucking me up behind my back: with every bet...... 

老天有眼.... let me hv the chance and hear it for myself ... simply amAzing. How poisonous it can be!! 

Now the truth is out!!

The last bet is toying me... playing game with me.... making use of me and stab me from behind.

You will Regret this.... it's  corrosive.

You can hide..... and you can pretend all the time.... fake it all the time....

BUT ....

Day11 New Norm

Play me? 

Playing with me?

Funny? Maybe

Don't worry. I AM smiling Too.

Love playing games with me.... 

Im used to losing streak...

But i M still smiLing

Day 10. New Norm Yet No logic

Addiction is something ... without logic.... esp when come to your Beloved Team playing.....

Watching thru the 1st half.... i knew it's not going to happen... bcos the whites were defending brilliantly with loads of experience iN UCL

I lost my last bet.... so still believe miracle can happen again like last UCL semi final......

My heart beats faster every time it attacks as im expecting something to happen... A goal.... but it never did. FRUSTRATION GREW EXPONENTIALLY.

Yet i still place another Bet for the love of my team......

Pure stupidity... OR pure love?? 

NEVER BET ON YOUR BELOVED TEAM WHEN YOU'RE MADLY IN LOVE

Hahahaha AT THE END OF THE DAYV.... I KNW IM NOT ALONE 

1-3 TOTAL CLAYPOT

WAHAHAHAHAHA YNWA.🤜🤛

Day8 New Nom... New insult

Biggest Insult..... for what i have to go thru bcos of this shit and that cb! All the losses over the past 1 year.....

Im not going to swallow it for sure ❗

"A" big win ... will simply enable me to let go of everything that happened. But it's not the case.... 

while i listened to bOss... accept.. be good, continue to be good, do my daily prayers and take good care of all my responsibilities... 

I will be rewarded with "A" big win.

Fcking bullshit. All the lies... betrayal... and someone else got the big win. Cb

No one listen to me at first.... I'm the one always creating the drama and over reacting!!!  

If i kept quiet all these while..... then 

I did my best... stay loyal with my last Bet ... believing all the bullshit that A big win will come. Continue doing and give my best efforts in the things i do...

when i didnt get A Big win... bcos you din listen to me placing that bet.... you find all excuses to justify, i lost my cool.... and said I should reflect upon myself??? 

Stab a knife at my back... and ask me to reflect??? What logic....

Welcome to the world of gamblers.... 

Dear last bet

Day7 .... "New Norm"

Was kinda of "High" this weekend!! Great last bet... Great piece of Art. 

All thanks to my team.... thanks this man, beautiful last min goal. Blood rushes to my head... instantly squeeze her legs... wow ... this is Art of the game. Hahahaha

Now adjust to the new Norm. For the whole of this week..... I AM DETERMINED TO STAY AWAY.... BCOS I KNW THE TRUTH .... but i am ok to hear another lie to comfort myself

I am not going to start another Drama

Since the truth is out... Boss was right... then I have to learn to accept and slowly subtracting the last bet.

Nothing last....... 

This is life.... the last bet wont let you keep winning.... once giving me the win that blood rushes to your head... i better learn to stop and walk away.

As I said.... there's so many punters out there.....let other do the chase.

If the last bet dun think im worth the time, I BETTER STAY AWAY.  .... FOR THE SAKE OF MY OWN MENTAL HEALTH TOO.

I'm a good person and will continue to be good. Keeping chasing my last bet doesn't means im insane!!  I have my issues and i will work on them. If i am not worth your time... fck off and move on, continue to flirt your with your life.

Im entering Sunset phase of my life. What more can i ask for liao hahahahaha. If every weekend got such blood-rushing to my head experience...... it's worth every bit for the remaining little time left before the sun is gone for good.

Let's keep the "social distancing"

One go social flirting...

One continue social betting...

That's the new Norm

Day 6 of New Norm

The truth hurts...... but i still preferred to be comforted by your lies...

I will play along... bcos i can't swallow it anyway.

But honestly.... how much time i got left..... there's so many punters out there..... when will the big win be mine 😔 😢 

But I will chiong like a Dragon even for that moment rather to like a quite sheep placing some bets one at a time lor

Good times.... easy to see the smile kn everyone's face...

Bad times... when I'm on losing streak and penniless... let's see who stick ard with me throught the storm.