“I didn't choose to be a Gambling Addict"

One of my post back in 2009, and I decide to update it as i think it maybe helpful to some after this World Cup 2014

"I did not choose to become gambling addicts."

When I was young, I had many dreams. There were many times people ask me, my parents or relative or teachers or friends ask, 

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I really didn’t have elaborate dreams of success. I really didn't know what I want to do or achieved. Most of the time I just simply said normal routine of life lor .... work, families, and a future of dignity and respect.

But no one has ever ask me , 

“Do you want to be a gambling addict when you grow up?”

I didn’t choose to become a GAMBLING addict, and now I am told ... that I cannot choose to stop being a gambling addict..... huh ... wtf ??? 

I was told I have the disease of addiction. They even shown me the American Medical stuff ... DSM IV manual ..... trying to convince me ....

What ?? ...... then I was told again I am not responsible for having this disease, but I am responsible for my recovery. 

I thought having learned that I am just like those sick people with chronic disease and that there is a way of recovery, I can move away from blaming circumstances—or myself —and into living the solution.

I told people around me when they start to attack me on my past again ... "I didn’t choose addiction, but I can choose recovery." .... they all said bullshit you.... you are just pure greedy, unrealistic fool who can't put your feet on the ground, dreaming of winning big and having an easy life through gambling .... this is pure lazy, and lies to cover all your wrong doings !!!

What say you ....... ??? What do you think .....

No matter what they say ..... But one thing for sure ... right from the beginning .... 

“I didn't choose to be a Gambling Addict"

Tough love

How many of us really understand what is LOVE ???

And how many of us in recovery really understand what is the meaning of  "TOUGH LOVE" ??

Initially I don't .....

When my parent refuse to bail me out during my rock bottom back in 2006 ....
It's Tough Love

When my family insisted that I go for treatment at IMH .....
It's Tough Love

When they told me to face trial and accept my punishment ....
It's Tough Love 

When my wife is firm with me during the early recovery period ...
It's Tough Love  

When I lost my job, my ego, my pride and was forced to start everything afresh ...
It's Tough Love


Despite not able to trust me fully again ..... Despite not able to forget what I did in the past ..

THEY STAND BY ME ..... ALL THESE WHILE ....

Allowing me time to change and grow up again .....

THIS IS TOUGH LOVE !!!!!

In Trouble Times ........

Dear fellow recovery friends

There are many trouble times in our recovery journey .... but do remember this

"In times of adversity, stay calm, deep breath, and don't rush things. Use our limited resources carefully, if not it will turn our situation even worst." 

At the end of the day, our family will suffer the most ...

Don't make the rush things. What will happen will happen one day.

Keep going ...

It is never easy.....

Trust me.....

All things seems going well in the family, then one day .....

One similar situation, like one in the past, happened.....

I thought perhaps after seven years in recovery and making so much changes, they wld now trust me and have faith in me that I will not go back to my old ways.....

BUT I WAS WRONG......

THE SAME DOUBT.....
THE SAME NO FAITH....
THE SAME LACK OF TRUST....

I was upset initially...... Thinking why still no faith and trust in me..... Started to get angry..

Then I just kept quiet .... And walk away...

It took me a while .... One whole night in fact ... To change the negative to positive...

AT least ... THEY ARE STILL BY MY SIDE ... AND WALKING THE JOURNEY WITH ME...

THEY DIDN'T ABANDON ME....

so.....

Wake up... Maintain my silence....

But give them a hug....

And start our day all over again.

THe pain.....
Can be forgiven...
But won't be forgotten....

Keep going BENNIE.

Things Ain't Going My Way ...

If things ain't not going my way or according to plan .... 

There need to be changes .... 

And There is ONLY one thing that need to be changed .....

That's ME !!!



and If I have made the extra effort to change .... and still changing and yet things still ain't going smoothly and not in place yet ...

Then 

KEEP THE FAITH !!! That's all we can do ..

But I have to admit that ..... CHANGE IS NEVER EASY ..... 

WHY ??

So take it Easy in Recovery .....

One Step @ a Time, One Change @ a Time, & One Day @ a Time !!

Anger is Never a Good Response

When I walk to recovery back in end 2006 ...... I was angry..
Very angry... With people , places and things.

As I travel in this recovery journey, still I am angry.....

Why people , places and things still treated me like this even I have stop gambling....

A wise teacher , then ask me "have you change ??"

I responded strongly....
" I have stopped my compulsive gambling.... I have started working... I bring back money now..  I take care of things at home..... !! Are they blind to all these ...."

The wise teacher just smile at me and walk away......


Then I realised...... I am still the same old me............ full of anger and frustration....
and just one angry response...

It can just simply destroy everything that I have built in recovery....

Rainbow of Hope

The road of recovery is always under construction ...

And Many Stormy Weather Too...


“There's always another storm. It's the way the world works. Snowstorms, rainstorms, windstorms, sandstorms, and firestorms. Some are fierce and others are small. In recovery, I have to deal with each one separately, and taking it One day @ a Time and not worry for the next storm.” 

Sometimes in life, you just have to bow your head, say a prayer, keep the faith and weather the storm .....

"After every storm the sun will smile; for every Problem there is a Solution."

Keep Believing in the Rainbow of HOPE .....

Imperfection

The "fear"  word stuck to my mind for the whole day....

Leading me to end the day with meditation on the word
"imperfection"

Quote from a wise teacher.

"Don't think peace of mind only comes once you hv fixed up all yr problems and finished all yr business.

You can only find peace of mind and achieve the meaning of life by embracing the IMPERFECTIONS of life."

Imperfection is the nature of the world.

Make peace with imperfection !

Rest in peace now while I can still enjoy life...

Not when others telling me RIP when im lying in the my grave..

Gd Nite and
Rest in Peace. ! !

Don't give up

No matter how painful it is...

No matter how hopeless it seems..

No matter how many people has given up on us...

Don't ever give up on yourself..

Learning to Let go.. is not giving up.

Recovery is for ourselves and not for others..

It has to be tough...
It has to be painful..
It has to be difficult...

If not... people like me ... wont change..

Hang in there...

Dont ever give up on yourself.

Gambling gave me a pair of glasses

Just overheard this on tv drama..

"Gambling has given me a pair of glasses.... to let me see clearly the people around me... the places.... the society.... the things that are happening..."

How true it was.... it really touches my heart. .. 7years had passed since my downfall..

Most around me in my cirlce left feeling disgusted, angry and disappointed..

I lost everything.... even my own dignity. . Lost my soul.... and nearly wanted to end my life...

But
my parents,
my beloved wife
my 3 lovely kids...

They were so hurt... so much pain..
So much disappointment. . So much tears. ...

BUT THEY NEVER GIVE UP ON ME. Never look down on me

THEY STOOD BY ME ALL THESE WHILE

Allowing me time to change.

Giving me the space to change.

Giving me the understanding to change.

Giving me the chance to change.

Giving me the LOVE to change.

I could see so so clearly with this pair of glasses now..

Now on the hinge side..

Hahaha gambling did something good to me....

Thank you so much for giving me this pair of glasses...

When do we "change"

How true it was for me.....

7 years back.... when I reached my rock bottom in my gambling career. .

I have lost everything....

Facing a broken family...
Devastated parent and wife..
Disgusted and disappointed frens
Lost my high profile job..
Going through bankrupt proceedings
And a jail term in front of me..

How painful can it be...
With so much shame and guilt...

That's was the time I realized that I have no more bullet to fight back..

I have to stop gambling ...

I need to change....

But before I could really start to change. ..

I have to deal with the pain....

It was so painful indeed...

And i wasn't happy then.... filled with so much pain and anger.. i didn't really change... I just stopped !!!

So how and when did the change start.....

This is what i did...
"Just stopped being angry" !!

Only i stopped being angry then i am able to learn how to be happy..

Then there's where changes will start to take place...

Things happened

Everything happened for a reason

Be it spiritual or religious. .

You reap what you sow.. as stated in the bible...

Or be it karma...  as in buddhism..

If it happened to me... it just means that "I deserve it!! No more no less!!"

If it didnt happen to me... it just means that "I dont deserve it !!" Or time is not ripe. ...

Good things happen ...
Bad things happen...

So if I deserve it... it will happened.

No need to run..
No need to chase...
No need to hide...

No matter what happened to me...
"ALL I NEED TO DO... IS TO

STAY HUMBLE..
STAY GRATEFUL..
AND KEEP MY FEET on the ground.!"

Stau focus on tday..
One day at a time.

Interview by ST

ST reporter called me yesterday to do a interview with me over the phone on problem gambling .. AGAIN ??

so when i ask the reporter Janice, wat's the purpose of the report ??

Again, the same reply, - Awareness .. and also to get my opinion on the following issues

1) whether problem gambling is on the rise ?

2) whether help is readily available in singapore and whether they are effective ?

3) whether having Casinos here make it more difficult for gamblers to quit ?

and then to ask me abt my past again....

That clearly showed me the standard and research done by this reporter .... and it also tell me that many still do not understand what is gambling addiction and problem gambling !!!

To many, problem gambling is a moral weakness ... mainly bcos of greed and once you stop gambling, all the problem will be gone !!!

Compulsive gambling is a progressive disorder!!

IT IS AN EMOTIONAL ILLNESS.

As the compulsion rises, the gambler is often forced into a pattern of lying, cheating and stealing to stay in 'action'! wages and stakes also rises, eventually the gambler's money disappear. Obtaining money becomes paramount important, which eventually leads to lying and cheating, borrowing and even embezzling.

Everytime a gambler does that, he or she always rationalized by a very serious and sincere vow to pay back the money!!

then it will leads to loanshark, illegal activities, crime, broken family and even suicide.

To seek help, treatment ... the compulsive gambler has to be willing !! If the gambler is not willing, no one can force him to treatment. The most important is to break out it's destructive behaviuor pattern!! it's not about just stopping gambling!!

The FIRST STEP is - Realising that help does exists..... apnd next step is to be willing to seek help .... this is the beginning step of recovery - HONESTY !!!!

Look .. RECOVERY IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION !!! it takes much more than time and effort !!

Where do gamblers go for help in singapore ??
Professionals at NAMS, family service center, religious support group, community service center ? HELP LINE ???

From my own experiences, the chances of rehab through just one of them are slim.... we need a holistic help through out the life journey....

RECOVERY is a JOURNEY and we have to learn to incooperate into my daily life. To many in recovery, life on life's term just simpily sucks

What the problem gamblers and gambling addict needs here is a holistic approach to provide a FRAMEWORK OF HOPE, STRUCTURE, and FRIENDSHIP from those who had lived the recovery successfully adapted to life without compulsive and destrcutive gambling!

This journey can be smooth or reocky but in any case, IT IS NEVER A PAINLESS JOURNEY !

What consistutes a holistic and effective recovery program ?? In my own views .....

1) it must be able to help gamblers to undercuts denial, projection and rationalisation.

2) it must help gamblers to identify the serious implications of gambling.

3) it must demands honesty and responsibility.

4) it must be able to help the gamblers to identify tand correct their character problems.

5) it must be able to give affection, personal concern and support for the problem gamblers and their family members, to learn how to live life on life's term.

6) it must have a program to help problem gamblers to develops sustitues for the void left by gambling.

7) AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, it Must be non-judgmental and sincere.

Again, this is in my own personal opinion.... but where to get such a facility in singapore?? there's none able to provide such a holistic support.

""ARE WE READY TO PROVIDE SUCH A SUPPORT, A HOLISTIC CENTRE FOR PROBLEM GAMBLERS AND THEIR FAMILY??""

I was very fortunate to be able to do one year of FULL TIME recovery back in year 2007. Each day, i did avg of 3 meetings. I attended recovery support group meeting in IMH, WE CARE, ONE HOPE. I attended courses on addictions, attended regular counseloring sessions, group therapy, pyso-education etc on the diseases of addiction. Most importantly, learn simple life skills to re-live my life again.

Each of the center gave me different kind of help and support that I needed for myself and family. Then there are WESLEY social service, CDC and CDAC that i went there for help to cope with Life so that my family is being look after. Not mentioning my kind employer who still pay me half-pay while I was suspended from service. Most importantly, the very kind good doctors I met,the very professional counselors I had, and most importantly, my recovery group which walk the journey with me then for the next couple of years.

I don't how the interview will turn up on the news or whether I will be mis-quoted, so I better give my own version here rather than leave it to the ST reporter to phase it for me.

AGAIN , THIS IS PERSONAL VIEW. There is nothing against any organisation and institutions.

Thank you for coming to my nlog and reading my strength and experiences!!

GOD BLESS

 

................They do not understand that stopping gambling is just a beginning of a very painful journey.. only us, we can understand ...

Accepting My "Best"

In recovery, I don't have to do it any better than I can !!

As long as I have done it to the best of my ability and  要對得起天地良心 , just for this moment, I am able to LET IT GO.

If my best is not good enough, if I have to redo it, then I can do my best in another moment later !!

Striving for excellence is a positive quality BUT striving for perfection is self-defeating !!

There are days when my best is less than what I hoped for ...... I have to learn to let those times go. Start over tomorrow. Work things through, until my best become better !!

Think about it ......



To "Ah Soon"

Hi Ah Soon

Thanks for your email "Ah Soon looking for you @ relaspe 2 June"

I tried to reply you but can't seems to send the mail to you @ "Sherry23", mail keep bouncing back so I decided to write this on the blog so that you could see this.

As you know very well that since Nov 10, I no longer going to Nams as I am not welcome by the professional there or perhaps to quote:  "I am not suitable to be a volunteer there to help people"

Currently, I am having regular kopi sessions at United Square with some of the fellowship as part of recovery meeting. You are always welcome to join us. I will ask Phang to text you when we set up the next mtg.

If you keen to meet me for a 1-1 heart to heart chat, just send me a sms, and we can arrange to meet and chat over kopi.

Meanwhile, please take good care. Instead of continue to try help and rescue other new comers in NAMS, doing those committed "duty" at GAMES, please consider this : "Help yourself and look after yourself first at this stage of recovery.

"Recovery is not about stopping gambling."

"Recovery is a process of change."

"Changes takes time and Changes can only take place with Acceptance and Honesty."

The moment one said he's 70%-80% or 90% recovered, there's where the disease of addiction, the devil will take control !!

Even Till now, I am very much still a gambling addict and my life is still unmanageable!

Regards

Bennie

"1325"

This is that special number ...

"HAUNTED" me for the past 1 month !!!  

This is my favourite number esp when it falls on the month of my birthday in May. I love to buy this number during the month of my birthday and of course in the past during my active addictions, I did strike this number many times ... The stakes were big then ... at times 50big 50 small or 10 bet 120 small ..

Thesedays, I still buy 4D and Toto .... of course stakes are now small $1 big or $2 big and of course no more illegal betting.

Why, so small now ..... "No money mah!!" is it right ???

Or becos Im in recovery ?? Then why must bet ??

Buy small "HOPE" in daily life mah !! Oh yeah ??

What ever the reason was ... the main thing is "BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF!! ONLY YOU KNOW THE TRUTH!!" in this case ... I know the truth and I am responsible for my own actions.

But the stakes got increased drastically during the past 3 weeks as income were good and it falls on the month of my "birthday" ....

The worst thing is for the past 3 weeks, where ever I go, the combination of 1325 kept appearing!!! Damn it.

Car Numbers, Bills, Cash Card value, Reciept Number, Door Number, HP Number, where I go, on the daily basis ... IT JUST KEPT APPEARING IN FRONT OF ME !!!!

Devil playing with me or God Hintint me ... This kept spinning in my head..... And of course I thought to myself...

HOSAY LIAO !!!

IT's COMING,　要來了 .... !!"

Then I started rolling the numbers 1 week before my birthday on the 25th May ..... $1 big roll means $24 .... 1 week 3 draws means - - $72 !!! Plus the actual number $2 big front and back ....

NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION - - DID I STRIKE ??

WOW KAU !!!!!

KENA EAT DRY DRY!!!

So what's the moral of this story ???

Never ever believe "it's coming" wahahaha

Also the more you want it ... the more you won't get it !!! hahahaha

One Bet A Day !!!

One Bet A Day ...... Sounds good and resaonable ??

If the bet per day is restricted to $20-$40 ...... No big deal right ??

That is what I think so .....

Income was good in the month of Apr bcos of the increased assignements ... I paid all the bills on time, given the household and extra money earned to my wife except that ....

I kept that $30- $50 for me on a daily basis for the past 1 month depending on the day earning.

I though to myself, now I could manage this 1 BET per day thingy well .... So I started ...

1 week passed .....then 2 weeks then coming to end of month ......

I haven't being winning at all ..... almost 80% of the tickets ended in the bin .....

Well, I didn't felt the pain as it was money that I could afford ... Still in deep denial ....

Then come 2nd Week of May which I have no more assignments ... OUCH !!!!

Damn ME !!!

How much money I have lost over the One BET per Day thingy .....

$50 x 21 days x 80% = $840!!!

This is not the money I could afford !!! goodness me .....

WHY DIDN't I STOP ...... OR WHY DID I Started it ....

Why didn't I Think of That !!!!


IS THAT TRUE  ??? I have thought of that ... but i made that choice to start .... now I goto "DAMN me " ???

DENIAL .. DENIAL ... DENIAL

Didn't Even Notice I Am Lying

It's a big big problem with me, maybe with all gambling addicts. Always thinking it's ok, no problem, I can handle now .....

Now I have to struggle to stop that "ONE BET A DAY" disease in me .... and damn !!! It's always so easy to get it going but so tough to come to a complete stop ....

Haizz ....

需要- - - 想要！！！ （Need Or Want)

Recently I had done something which even amazed myself ..... I was caught it a personal battle of thoughts ...



"Do I Really Need It ?? " or "Do I Want to have it ??"

In the past, during my gambling days ... I wouldn't even need to struggle with such thoughts at all. Whatever is being given to me or offered to me, I will just gladly take it with open arms and then justified my "needs" ot "why I take it" with loads of beautiful reasons !!! Exactly the same when I place A BET !!! I have loads of reasons to always justify my next bet .....

Even till today ... Now it seems like the BEST REASON I used to justify when I place my next bet is either

"I am a gambling addict" or

"No harm done, I just buying a HOPE nw. I am not betting like before !!"

Hahaha ..... is it really true ?? There is a still a certain great degree of DENIAL in me. Of course, I need not answer to anyone. I only need to answer to myself. I can lie to the whole world but I wld never lie to myself. I would never want to carry those excess baggages of lies anymore.

DO I WANT TO BET or DO I NEED TO BET ??

Now, back to the incident that lead me to have some thoughts for myself.....

Someone close to me wanted to buy me a laptop .... for the purpose of the work I am doing and helping her .... Initially, I was overwhelmed and delighted as I wanted to have a laptop for a long time. So I gladly accepted it as partly it's work related. So I went around hunting for it and comparing pricing. Once I zoom in to the machine I wanted, I got the money from her and went to it.

However, when I was about to make that payment, there was a huge force opposing me and kept questioning me, "Do you really need it ??" .... it kept haunting me till I back out and walk out of the shop. I ordered a cold drinks, sat down and talk to myself..... What's the problem with me ? Now, I never ask for it, it was offered to me, it's partly work related, why can't I get it ??? BUT the same old questions persist .... DO I NEED IT or is it just purely I WANT IT !!!



After some serious struggle, I then confessed to myself, "I DON't REALLY NEED IT !!!!" No matter what, it's still other people hard earned money and If I doing ok and coping ok without a laptop, then why use the money .... on the other hand, it may start to divert my attention from my daily lifes again .....

I quietly calm myself down. Tell myself it's the right thing to do and return home and told my wife my decision of not getting the laptop. Then my wife asked, " Did you think of using the money to gamble today ?"  hahaha

The next day, I returned the money. Then I felt a sense of joy ..... but somehow as the day went by, in the night, I felt aggitated again .... for watever reasons I'm unclear !!! But I didn't dwell in the thoughts and went to bed early.....

I am indeed amazed with myself and I believed when I return the money and explaining to the person why I decide against buying, I think she wld be amazed too bcos in the past, this won't happen......

So have recovery change me ??? When people ask me, I prefer to leave it to the people close to me to answer this question ....

But do you still place a bet ??? When people ask me this, I prefer to say the truth, yes I do. And I still enjoying it very much especially over  soccer games....

But why do you wana bet ??? hahaha now instead of using my standard answers, I have to start question myself ...

DO I WANT TO BET or DO I NEED TO BET ??

A Sad Ending of A Army Officer

Another familiar story .... yet another sad ending ..... This story touches my heart .... how many of such stories have we read and how many of them went untold ....

Just check out what were the comments given in the link below for this report:
http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2011/02/15/army-captain-turned-loanshark-runner-charged-in-court/#

SAF captain turned loan-shark runner sentenced to jail, caning

By Faris – February 19th, 2011

 

Kheng said that his first visit to the casino at Resorts World Sentosa had got him hooked and in the next few months, his loss exceeded “five figures”.

An army captain was sentenced to 2 years’ jail and twelve strokes of the cane for working as a loan-shark runner to repay his debts.

Kheng Kok Keong, 34, had pleaded guilty on Monday to four charges of harassment for vandalizing the homes of alleged debtors. Seventeen other charges were taken into consideration by the judge in sentencing.

The father of two children revealed that his first visit to the casino at Resorts World Sentosa last year had got him hooked. As such, he made repeated visits. In the next few months, he went on to lose a small fortune exceeding “five figures”.

“I went to the casino to check out the place out of curiosity but things started (to get out of control) from there and I just couldn’t stop,” he told The Straits Times on Thursday. After losing $30,000 at roulette, he turned to unlicensed moneylenders. When he could not repay the loans, he was roped in by a creditor — known only as Ah Seng — to harass other debtors.

His jail term was backdated to Oct 16. He had been held in remand after he was arrested at Block 103, Commonwealth Crescent. That night, he had vandalised an eighth-floor unit. He was caught by his victim when he returned to retrieve a pack of cigarettes he had left behind.

By then, he had been on the “job” for four months. From last June, he had vandalised homes by splashing paint on doors, injecting glue into padlocks and keyholes, and scrawling messages on walls.

Before his run-in with the law, Kheng was working as a logistics officer in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF), drawing a monthly salary of $5,000. In his 14 years with the army, he had also served as a peacekeeper in Timor Leste. He was sacked after he was charged.

According to court documents, he vandalised 21 flats in September and October last year, mainly in Clementi, Commonwealth Crescent, Redhill and Toa Payoh. Whenever he received an assignment, he would leave his Yishun Avenue 6 flat with his gear of black paint, black permanent marker, superglue and ski mask which he wore to obscure his face.

“Since I borrowed money, and they offered me this option, I just did it,” he said of his decision to be a loan-shark runner. “I wasn’t scared, I just thought that was the only way to repay the amount.”

He earned $2,000 each month for his efforts, all of which went towards paying off his debts.

Before he turned to Ah Seng, he had borrowed smaller sums from friends. But each time, he would go back to the casino hoping to recoup what he had lost. That was how his losses snowballed, he said.

After his arrest, his creditors besieged his flat and threw black paint on the gates, as he had done to his victims. To avoid the harassment, his wife returned to her native Taiwan, taking along their children aged five and seven.

Asked if he regretted his actions, Kheng fell silent. “I have lost contact with her,” he said of his wife. His parents, who were not at the sentencing, had also become estranged from him.

##############################################

The diesease of addiction not only affected people with low education, low income or poor family. It can also affect people who had good education, high education, high income, a well-to-do family too.

Man, woman, young, old, rich, poor ..... It's always only evident as a gambling problem when one start losing .....

The diesease of gambling addiction has no preference ..... it can hit anyone, anytime, winning, losing, chasing etc .... 

IT has no cure but it can be ARRESTED ..... but you can't do it on your own ...

So now even our govt sector people are affected ..... so is it "infectious" ... how bad has it spread ??

Is anyone looking into it ? Is anyone providing help, reaching out to these group of people, helping them to get back on the right track again ? Is all the money we spent on this community project of "Know the Line" working ?? Anyone really evaluating it ???

On the other hand, many gambling addicts kept complaining ... "Is anyone giving us a second chance ......."

To all gambling addicts out there ..

I have a message for you ....

"You have to give yourself a second chance in life first, before  anyone could give you that second chance in life that you need !!! 

In recovery, It works only if you work it !! Take that First Step towards recovery today !! The road of recovery is always under construction and it may not be completed in this life time !!

Another Sad Ending of a Gambling Addict

日期: 21/01/2011 新闻来源: 联合晚报 记者: 意外组 摄影: 饶进礼

烂赌夫坠楼　遗下分居妻女

赌场、感情两失意，汽车销售员疑一时看不开，留遗书叮咛年轻太太好好照顾年幼女儿后，从住家厨房一跃而下，结束了宝贵的生命。

事故发生在昨晚8时左右，地点是兀兰环路第609座组屋。坠楼的汽车销售员是28岁的陈清德。据了解，他和21岁妻子注册结婚两年多，还未行华人婚礼，育有一个一岁多女儿。他已和妻子在一年前分居，妻子带着女儿住在娘家。

死者的父亲（58岁，司机）说，他和妻子（死者的母亲）昨晚8时回家，发现家里凌乱不堪，到处是酒瓶和食物，两人开始收拾，不久，警察上门，他们才知道儿子已坠楼。陈父过后发现儿子在睡房留了遗书，向父母道歉的同时，也要太太和家人好好照顾年幼的小女儿。

 

 

Another Sad Ending chosen by a gambling addict ...... it was reported in the papers that the dad said HE picked up gambling since young starting with soccer betting then eventually go into Casino. Since the Casino open in Singapore, HE signed up as member of the Casino. However, after losing hundred thousands of dollars which the family helped HIM to repay, the family went ahead and applied for the Casino exclusion order.  But this didn't stopped him from gambling. HIS sister said that HE tried several attempts to QUIT gambling but ended up still going back to GAMBLE .....

 

I thought to myself  ...... Even during his rock bottom, This person has never has a chance to meet people like us to help him ... He never knew that there is group that he can go to and get help ..... He never know how to deal with this cunning blaffing and powerful disease of addiction ...... He never knew why he can't stop and why he kept gambling ...

 

 

 He suffered in silence, held hostage by HIS ADDICTION and sank into depression and eventually find it too much for him to take it and decided to call it a day. BUT he just didn't know the pain he left behind ....

 

I REALLY FELT FOR HIM ..... I have been there before and understand how he feel and what's going thru in his mind ..... I bear his pain ..... I feel for his parents, his wife who still loves him and his little princess ....

 

As you could read from the many similar news, If this disease is not arrested, you not only lose money, your love ones and eventually your own life .... It's a very painful disease and even more painful if you need to suffer alone in SILENCE ....

 

Our country has a community program running for the past years to create awareness of problem gambling and kept introducing a HOT-LINE number for problem gamblers to call in and seek help ....

 

Is this effective after spending so much of money on this ...... What abt the treatment at our National Addiction Management Services at NAMS ..... ??  Do they know what kind of help we really need and are they prepare to really help people like us ......

 

What kind of help is there really out there in the community to reach out to people like this MAN whom the paper describe as 烂赌夫 "ROTTEN" ... Many would say, why you can't stop?? It's easy what ?? It's just pure GREEDY and trying to get the easiest way out in life!! HE should have known better ...

 

Are we really "ROTTEN" that means "no hope" for people like us ?? Even when he's gone, he's is being labelled as 烂赌夫 "ROTTEN Gambler" ...

Dear Fellow Gamblers,

You are not alone. COME take our hand; WE are your friend, WE understand. WE've known your guilt, your shame, remorse; WE've borne the burden of your cross. WE have found a friend who offered ease; He suffered, too, with this disease. Although he had no magic cure, He showed me how we could endure. We talk together side by side; We spoke of things we had to hide. We told of sleepless nights and debts, Of broken homes and lies and threats. And so my weary gambler friend, Please take this hand that WE extend. Take one more chance on something new, Another gambler helping you.

I have thought about it for a long time and I believe I can offer more than just sharing in this blog ... So I decided to run my own recovery support group for people like me, who wanted help but yet still struggle to stay away from gambling and facing alot of "shit" when trying to meet life on life's term ....

I have limited capacity BUT if i could just reach out and saved another life, I may be able to save a entire family, like how mine was saved 48months ago. I wanted to share this HOPE with those still suffering out there in silence....

I am in the process and looking for a place to set up this recovery support group and look at long term on how to substain running the group. Meanwhile, I will just pray that there will not be any similar SAD ENDING of another gambler ......

GOD if you are willing, help me please......