STEP WORK ~ GA Guide to Workng Step One

Step One ~ We admitted we were powerless over gambling – that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step One tells us that admitting our gambling defeat is humiliating and we naturally resent this show of weakness.

1. This opposes our instincts.


2. Destruction is at hand when we gamble.


3. We are at war with ourselves when attempting to gamble denying our failure and unwilling to admit our weakness.

Discuss with your sponsor or counselor or another fellow member:
A) When did we first discover and/or sense the problem of our compulsive gambling ?

B) Describe instances that prove we can no longer gamble normally.

In GA we discover that admitting our gambling problem to others has become the foundation on which our recovery will be built.

1. Our foundation can only be as strong as our continued belief that we are powerless.


2. Our reservation about powerless over gambling (doubt), block our recovery.

Discuss with your sponsor or counselor or another fellow member:
A) Has acceptance of our “powerlessness” grown while attending meetings ?

B) Have we stopped searching for answers and causes of our gambling problem and started to deal with the problem on a daily basis ? ? Explain

Step One announces we are instinctively shocked when told that “will power” and self-knowledge will not break our obsession to gamble.

Discuss with your sponsor or counselor or another fellow member:
A) How has “will power” failed in the face of gambling ?

B) What is the meaning of the slogan “KEEP IT SIMPLE” ?

C) Have we begun to come to Gamblers Anonymous for our own personal survival - - not to satisfy others ?

Our failing brought us to GA. By admitting and accepting our problem we become willing to listen and remain open-minded.

Discuss with your sponsor or counselor or another fellow member:
A) How we learn by attending meetings regularly ?

B) Are regular meetings a chore or source of relief ?

C) Has our ability to listen improved steadily or are we bored at times ?

D) Is Gamblers Anonymous our mirror ?

Low Self Esteem

“...we covered low self-esteem by hiding behind phony images that we hoped would fool people. The masks have to go ....”

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Over-sensitivity, insecurity, and lack of identity are often associated with active addiction.

Many of us carry these with us into recovery; our fears of inadequacy, rejection, and lack of direction do not disappear overnight. Many of us have images, false personalities we have constructed either to protect ourselves or please others. Some of us use masks because we’re not sure who we really are. Sometimes we think that these images, built to protect us while in active gambling, might also protect us in recovery.

We use false fronts to hide our true personality, to disguise our lack of self-esteem. These masks hide us from others and also from our own true selves. By living a lie, we are saying that we cannot live with the truth about ourselves. The more we hide our real selves, the more we damage our self-esteem.

One of the miracles of recovery is the recognition of ourselves, complete with assets and liabilities.

Self-esteem begins with this recognition. Despite our fear of becoming vulnerable, we need to be willing to let go of our disguises. We need to be free of our masks and free to trust ourselves.

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I will let go of my masks and allow my self- esteem to grow.

Surrender & Acceptance ~ A Continual Process ....

“If, after a period of time, we find ourselves in trouble with our recovery, we have probably stopped doing one or more of the things that helped us in the earlier stages of our recovery.”

Surrender is just for newcomers, right? Wrong!

After we’ve been around awhile, some of us succumb to a condition particular to oldtimers. We think we know something about recovery, about God, about GA, about ourselves AND start talking like professional, trying to teach people what to do and rescue the whole world ....

The problem is, we think we know enough, and we think that merely knowing is enough. But it’s what we learn and what we do after we think we know it all that really makes the difference.

Conceit and complacency can land us in deep trouble. When we find that “applying the principles” on our own power just isn’t working, we can practice what worked for us in the beginning: SURRENDER & ACCEPTANCE

When we find we are still powerless, our lives again unmanageable, we need to seek the care of a Power greater than ourselves. We need continual surrender and acceptance. We need to learn to accept people place and things as they are. No one will be grateful for our recovery ....... We need to learn surrender to life terms and live on it's term ..... We need to accept that the quick fix solution no longer works for us .... We need to accept it's HIS timing and not ours ..... We need to surrender our "false hope" of a big win is still possible ...

And when we discover that self-therapy isn’t so therapeutic after all, we need to take advantage of “the therapeutic value of one addict helping another.” ~ This is the beauty of the spiritual program

Don't Be Discouraged

There was a time when we have stop gambling, becoming sober and staying clean ......
THEN there came a time when we slipped and relapsed.

There was a time when we felt so discouraged, so lousy and wanted to end it all when we kept hitting wall and making no progress ..... BUT

Now is the time for us to pick ourselves up, regain sanity again and continue the healing process.

There was a time when we were so broken down ....
Now is the time to build ourselves up.



There was a time when we were at war deep within ....
Now is the time to restore peace within.

One day @ a time, Easy does it and Turn it over.

Handling Conflicts

“We learn that conflicts are a part of reality, and we learn new ways to resolve them instead of running from them.”

From time to time, we all experience conflicts. However, in recovery, it may be that we just can’t seem to get along with people around us. Maybe our family and loves one are driving us crazy.

Or perhaps our spouse or partner isn’t meeting our expectations and they don't seems to understand and care about us .....

Dealing with any conflict is difficult for recovering addicts. When tempers rise, it is often a good idea to back away from the situation until cooler minds prevail. We can always return for further discussion when we have calmed down.

We can’t avoid troubling situations, but we can use time and distance to find perspective.

Conflict is a constant part of life. It is unrealistic and we can’t go through our entire recovery without encountering disagreements and differences of opinion. Sometimes we can back away from these situations, taking time to reflect on them, but there always comes a time when conflict must be resolved.

When that time comes, we take a deep breath, say a prayer, and apply the principles our program has given us: honesty, openness, responsibility, forgiveness, trust, and all the rest.

In the past, we use gambling to keep running from life—and now in recovery, we don’t have to run anymore. We will learn how to face them, live with them.

Just for today:

The principles my program has given me are sufficient to guide me through any situation. I will strive to confront conflict in a healthy way.

Recovery is Discovery. It is .....

1) Staying away from our destructive gambling life + progressive changes

&

2) Learning how to live, incorporating the spiritual principles we learned in the 12 steps recovery program into our lives, to live life on life's term and to liverin harmony with others and most importantly with ourselves.

Open-Mind

"Today when someone points out a shortcoming, my first reaction may be defensive. I know there will always be room for growth. I am still learning”

Recovery is a process that brings about change in my life. I need that change if I am to continue my growth toward freedom.

It’s important that I remain open-minded when others point out my shortcomings, for they are bringing to light opportunities for us to change and grow. Especially those shortcomings which I thought were my strength.

Reacting defensively limits my ability to receive the help they are offering to me; letting go of my defense opens the door to change, growth, and new freedom.

Each day in my recovery process will bring an opportunity for further change and growth. The more I learn to greet change with an open mind and heart, the more I will grow and the more comfortable I will become with my recovery

My Struggles with My Discoveries....

While working my Step 1 and Step 4, I came to realize the following traits of my gambler's instinct, gambler's personality and the false belief system which previously these were not presented so clear to me, Or perhaps during that past 18 months, going through coming clean with love ones, family and my bosses, gaining recovery knowledge, facing criminal charges and imprisonment, has kept my thoughts, my heart and my soul focus on stopping, staying stop ~~ for a possible miracle in recovery.......

But now when those are over, when I have served my terms, when my loved ones, family and friends felt that I have learnt my lessons well, learnt it the hard way, I would not repeat the same mistake, I can be normal again....... The pressure of staying stop suddenly is gone ...... the false belief system of I can resume as a social gambler or controlled gambling is possible because I have learnt enough of / about gambling addiction which would prevent me from returning to my previous destructive life pattern.

The hope or perhaps the false hope that God will now be merciful to me and grant me a huge win to recover all my losses returns because I have stayed clean.... because I have made changes..... because I have trust God ...... All the false belief system, the addict within starts to play the mind game....

I recalled what Apostle Paul wrote In Roman Chap 7, verse 15-17, about struggling with sins....

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me”

I have check with my therapist and told him about my guilt, shame and pain in my self discovery ....... I struggled and still struggling with my self-discovery about the addict me and I check with him whether my discoveries are normal and common to all gambling addicts and the answer to my below questions is a simple ~~ “YES, your are right.”

1) Most gambling addicts are insecured, fearful and mainly gambled to escape emotions, to fell useful, empower and gaining control of himself. -- I DID THAT !!

2) All gambling addicts, whether in recovery or not, still harbors that false dreams of huge win,restoring one's status and hoping to prove a point to prove to others that they are ok and normal. -- I HARBOR THAT !!

3) All gambling addicts still have a deep desire to regain controlled-gaming ... the false belief system that they are good and with more experience and safety nets, they can achieve that “control”, especially when things, situation and life has become calm and pressure off. -- I HAVE THAT !!

4) All these above 3 points are usually deep hidden, and gamblers in recovery would deny them and some are even not aware about them....... -- I DISCOVERED THAT !!

I am in the process of change .....

I am in the process of learning to live life on life's term .....

I am still learning about my recovery in gambling addiction ....

I am still trying to rebuild my relationships, my foundation and myself ....

BUT It's only ONE DAY @ A TIME