Bookie and LoanSharks

Many ask me about my experiences with the bookies and loansharks .... I often ponder myself too .....

these questions were often asked .... I asked these questions too when I first enter recovery

1. "how to deal with bookie and loanshark"
2. "how to negotiate with bookie and loanshark for payment"

Often I heard problem gamblers said .....

1) "help me settle my bookie, loanshark problems first, then we talk about seeking treatment for my so gambling problems"

2) "I am forced to gamble or borrow from loan shark becos I want to be responsible and make the repayment myself on time. I have no choice"

3) "Once you help me settle these debts, I wont gamble anymore. OR I don't need to gamble anymorë"

4) "How to seek treatment and recovery if everyday loanshark and bookie harrassing me ? "

Over the years, in my gambling career, I remembered so many times when I got help to clear my debts, I was never honest with the whole debts ..... I only showcase the legal debts and hid the illegal or friendship debts ..... The guilt, shame and false ego prevented me ?? Or the addict within wanted to gamble and fight back some more ??

I believed whatever the reasons, surely they benefitted the addict and of course the bookie and loansharks.

In recovery, we kept telling the new comers "KEEP COMING BACK" ..... I then realised during my gambling career .... the bookies and Ah-Long also keep telling me "KEEP COMING BACK" too!!!! or somehow they would force me to "KEEP GOING BACK" hahaha

I remembered clearly during my rock bottom days, the phone kept ringing ...
- during the days and evening - - the legal creditors
- during the night esp after 6.30pm - - the illegal creditors ...

Everytime it rang, my heart beats faster and fear sets in .... very stress, staring at the phone, which always in silent mode hahaha don't even dare to let it vibrates..... plug out the home phone line and stay out late till the night .... Once reach my block, goto check the surrounding, check for O$P$, check for legal letters in the mail box ..... then goto keep watch over my windows and door ....... so damn stress, so fearful so tiring.

When I first come into recovery after a mental breakdown, the first question on my mind -
"Bookie and Ah Long how ??" . . . . then one question was thrown back to me "you still want to gamble ??" ... Of course instantly at that moment I said "NO"without any doubts mah !!

Why ? the wound is so large till the bone can be seen ... pain very pain .... so I must stop the pain. That's why I say "NO" .... then simply that Old wise gentleman told me .... "Then don't worry abot making any repayment" !! "Don't Pay" ...... "huh ??? what kind of stupid advise is this when I was already so fearful ....... " I was angry and wanting to walk away.

HE made me sat down and ask me to list down all my legal and illegal debts ....... After looking at it,

HE told me "Legal debts must handle, Illegal debts put one side. Legal debts worst then Ah-Long. Not promptly dealt with, they eventually can enter your house with a poiliceman, court order and paste stickers.!!!" ....

"What abt Loanshark??" " HE told me, they will harass you and strike fear into forcing you and family to pay .... Splash paint, lock your house, hell notes, write O$P$ whatever you cld imagine but they have to do them with FEAR too ....
BUT all these are against the law, and moreover they have to pay other people to do these dirty jobs bcos they dnt show face easily .... So tell me, how many times can they splash paint if each job cost $80 ... 10 times - $800 ... and the person doing them risking their "life" too ..... and often they are also victims now ...

HE then rationise with me .... "How long have you been in "business"with them ??" "10years - I replied. Always the same few group." HE said good, then if they have earned enough from you, after harassing for a period of time, they will let it go. HE told me Bookie and Ah-Long also businessmen and they won't do business that lose money too. Moreover their daily turnover is beyond what I could imagine.

Then what do I have to do ?? - - I asked ...

HE said - - "Come Clean with everyone. Let everyone know!!. your family, your counselors, suuport group, the neighbours, the police ... the more people know the better. And most importanly the bookies and the loansharks. Tell them you are quitting, not gambling anymore, your are seeking treatment and help for your gambling problems. Tell them you have earn enough of your money over the years, now that you have fallen, you decided call it quit and surrender. Please dn't harass my family. If you do, I will just report accordingly. Pls give me a way out in life..... "

Wow .. that's a tall order ...... BUT HE did say, if you can't do it. Just leave it. and do the following

1) Seek support for yourself and family in recovery.
2) Cut off all connectivities with the Bookies and Loanshark.
3) Report to police and provide them with all the necessary activities and detials
4) Most importantly, start dealing with the most imminent problem - gambling addiction.
5) Handle one thing at a time. thing that I could handle only. keep it simple

All of these, one day at a time !!! that was the beginning of my recovery journey


((To be continued))

Happy New Year - 2010

An amazing year 2009 has passed and I believe another great year 2010 has arrived.

I thank God for a year of growth, progress, warmth and love.

May I look back at this past year as a good year, in htat nothing I did or said was wasteful. No experiences - however insignificant it may seem, was worthless ...

Hurts has given me the capacity to feel happiness; bad times made me appreciate the good ones. Weakness has, and can become my strength.

I will continue to live one day at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace. I will continue to trust that God will make things right, if I surrender my self-will to divine will.

God Bless all .....