.... I NEED LOVE .... I AM EXTREMELY INSECURED

Where can I find Love ? I am extremely insecured ..... I have lost everything .....

Real Love ... True Love ..... I need Love in recovery .... in my fight against temptation.

The "book of Love" teaches me HIS words ..

"PRACTICE GIVING, AND PEOPLE WILL GIVE YOU" ..... simply put it as ...... "IF YOU WANT TO BE LOVED, SHOW LOVE" ....

I tried ... and tried very hard ..... most often than not, I felt even more disappointed, depressed and disillusioned if I don't get any the response I needed ..... especially when I am trying so hard and people don't even seems to appreciate I am trying...


then he said ... you have to "practice giving without any expectation in return" ...... and most importantly "trust GOD that people will give you in return" ......

In recovery, we need to "walk in faith and not by sight" ..... how difficult and how uncomfortable and how insecured will that be...... esp when spiritual strength is weak and when you can't feel GOD .....

HIS words continue.... "LOVE bears all things, always trusts, always hopeful and endures all things ... most importantly .. LOVE NEVER FAILS ....

Pictures That Tell Our Study

START YOUNG

Winning (Glory / Empowered)

Losing
Chasing

Desparate (Broken)

Escape ~~ Using Drink / Drugs ...........

Bailout

DENIAL .......

False Dream .... Fight Back

AND FINALLY .........

~~ THE GA RECOVERY PROGRAM. ~~

This program consist of the twelve steps of recovery which are based on practical experience and insights developed over many years.

Most importantly, the twelve steps of recovery works, and they are therefore cornerstone upon which the fellowship is built. Although GA is not a religious organization, the recovery program is based on certain spiritual values and concepts. The recovery program is based on the faith that the compulsive gamblers can be helped by yielding to a force greater than themselves, be it GOD, the fellowship or both.

GA can be described as a spiritual fellowship because it asks its members to have faith and to develop the highest and finest qualities of human character. Such virtues as kindness, honesty, humility, empathy, generosity and integrity are advocated as the best principles for a new way of life. Through practicing these virtues members have learned to strive for spiritual progress as the means for person recovery and for the perpetuation of the Fellowship. There is no short cut for building a new life. Rehabilitation takes time, and also because of our need to be ever vigilant against the impulse to gamble - - so participation in the fellowship is an ongoing commitment.

The GA way of life is far from being confined to weekly group meeting. We need to live in this spiritual way of life.

Perseverance is the key to Recovery.
Recovery = Achieving Abstinence + Change.

Note that even if an individual attends the GA meetings but continues to gamble, the disease will still progress. Recovery takes much more work and self-discipline than that to which the compulsive gambler has been accustomed. Commitment to the GA way of life demands a complete reversal of both values and habits. Vigilance is substituted for complacency , for as we have said, anything other than assertive action leads to regression.

It is important to remember that the desire to stop gambling is usually a tremendous motivation to attend meetings and to adhere to the recovery program. As the member makes progress in the program, the desire to gamble gradually subsides. The individual eventually reaches a point where a return to gambling is unconscionable. This is the stage also where many members begin to like themselves. A whole new personality emerges as the members strives toward growth and maturity.

Are you a compulsive / problem gamblers ??

Gamblers Anonymous 20 Questions Survey*

1. Did you ever lose time from work due to gambling?
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3. Did gambling ever affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
7. After losing, did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8. After a win, did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance your gambling?
12. Were you reluctant to use gambling money for normal expenditures?
13. Did gambling make you careless of yourself or your family?
14. Have you ever gambled longer than you had planned?
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry and trouble?
16. Have you ever committed or considered committing an illegal act to finance gambling?
17. Has gambling caused you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18. Have arguments, disappointment, or frustrations caused you to gamble?
19. Have you had an urge to celebrate any good fortune with a few hours of gambling?
20. Have you ever considered self-destruction as a result of your gambling?

*--Seven or more positive responses suggest pathologic gambling.Reprinted with permission. Available from Gamblers Anonymous International Service Office, P.O. Box 17173, Los Angeles, CA 90017.

~~ SERENITY PRAYERS~~

"Do not be anxious of anything. For everything, commit in prayers to GOD, with a grateful and thankful heart."

Definition of Gambling in GA-Fellowship

DEFINITION BY GA - Fellowship

Gambling, for the compulsive gambler, is defined by the fellowship of Gamblers Anonymous as any betting or wagering, for self or others, whether for money or not, no matter how slight or insignificant, where the outcome is uncertain or depends upon “chance” or “skill” constitutes gambling.

Compulsive gambling, very simply, is gambling which is beyond the emotional control of the gambler.

Gambling is an emotional illness, because the need to gamble is uncontrollable. The need to gamblers dominates the thinking and energy of the compulsive gambler. So much energy is spent by the compulsive personality in planning how, when and where to gamble that eventually the enjoyment fades and is replaced by anxiety over the ability to get the money for the next gambling venture or pay to pay debts.

The compulsive gamblers lives in perpetual state of tension, unable to relax for any length of time because of the obsessive need to make bets and to raise money to gamble or pay gambling debts. While gambling may be stressful, being away from it can be even worst. The compulsive gamblers cannot cope with the stress and pressures of everyday living; the circumstance of life seem to be fraught with tension. This cycle of behavior becomes more and more destructive.

~~ I AM NEVER ALONE ~~

"Sharing with others keeps us from feeling isolated and alone"

––––=––––

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being lonely is a state of the heart, an emptiness that makes us feel sad and sometimes hopeless. Loneliness is not always alleviated when we enter into relationships or surround ourselves with others. Some of us are lonely even in a room full of people.

Many of us came to Gamblers Anonymous out of the desperate loneliness of our addiction. After coming to meetings, we begin to make new friends, and often our feelings of loneliness ease. But many of us must contend with loneliness throughout our recovery.

What is the cure for loneliness? The best cure is to begin a relationship with a Higher Power that can help fill the emptiness of our heart. We find that when we have a belief in a Higher Power, we never have to feel lonely. We can be alone more comfortably when we have a conscious contact with a God of our understanding.

We often find deep fulfillment in our interactions with others as we progress in our recovery. Yet we also find that, the closer we draw to our Higher Power, the less we need to surround ourselves with others. We begin to find a spirit within us that is our constant companion as we continue to explore and deepen our connection with a Power greater than ourselves. We realize we are spiritually connected with something bigger than we are.

––––=––––

("GOD IS LOVE ~ 1John4:8)

Just for today: "I will take comfort in my conscious contact with a Higher Power ~ my GOD. I am never alone"

IS IT DIFFICULT TO STOP GAMBLING ???

Ask this question to gamblers....... you will likely to get the answer as "No problem. I can stop anytime if I want to".

For a problem gambler, it is not about stopping ..... "IT IS ABOUT STAYING STOP"

Often the SPIRIT is willing, but the sinful body and the faulty mind is weak ???

So how to stay stop ??
- - it can be done .... but not by the addict on his own, not on his term and condition and his way. "I can't, but together we can, HE can"

"ONE DAY AT A TIME"
FIRST THING FIRST ~ Stop gambling today.

"" A step closer to Light, will help kill each doubt in Darkness"

ADDICTIVE THINKING

Fellow gamblers, have you ever wonder the following questions.......

How does a gambler addict think ?? Are our brain "Faulty" ??

Why we kept going around in cirlces ... repeating our destructive life patterns ?? Why didn't we seems to learn our lessons ??

Everytime when we seek bailout, we seems to be so remorseful and always seems determined to stop gambling, and wanting to change ??

These answers can be found in the "concept of addictive though process" or "addictive thinking" which involved the process of slef-deception and faulty perception so prevalent in problem-gambler's mind.

For gamblers in recovery, it is not about stopping ... rather how can we stay stop. In the holistic view on the "disease model of addiction", the necessity of character change and spiritual journey is necessary for a balanced long term recovery. ((RECOVERY = ABSTINENCE + CHANGE))

Deep within, the roots of guilt, shame, fear, stress and condemnation are the commonalities to all the addicts..... they hold us bondage in "darkness" ... we are afraid of "light"

Gambler's brain are always holding on to the FALSE HOPE / DREAM of fighting back and winning........ if I win, I will pay off my debts and I will stop. I want to be responsible..... I have won big before..... it can happen again...... We are so used to "quick-fix" solutions that has been deep-rooted since we began our gambling journey.... We can justified our fight back with 1001 justifications...... Our brains are formatted with all "faulty perceptions" of gambling thoughts and false "divine luck" ..... this has caused many of us to be in constant denial.

Its so funny at time when we hink about this ... "WE COULD BE WAITING PATIENTLY FOR A FIGHT BACK .... BUT WE CAN'T PERSERVE IN OUR RECOVERY" ..... WE never seems to surrender in our gambling career but in recovery, we gave up often it's too painful

Making changes to those deep-rooted behaviour and faulty thoughts are extremely difficult ... especially for gamblers where there are "plenty of chances to fight back" daily in our gambling markets - both legal and illegal..... "the readiness" of loanshark and bookie to support our gambling career, the "gracious favour" of banks and fianiancial institutes to support us with legal loans, government supports "responsbile betting" ??? How to stop ?? OOO---man

So understanding the art of Self-Deception is important in recovery. Absolute Honesty with oneself is required and we can't do it on our own.... we are so good in decieving ourself, manipulating others. We are also good at Rationalization, projection and denial.....

Have a moment to yourself and write about the addict within...... and you will find out how your "addictive thinking" works.....

The Four Phases of Gambling Addiction

1) Winning Phase
- - Short or non-existent phase revealing several small or large wins, sense of emotional escape from problems, a boost in self-esteem, and a sense of empowerment. Excitement, titillation, and a social life at the casino fill a vacuum in the life of those predisposed by their conditions and considerable loneliness

2) Losing/Chasing Phase
- - Losses are explained away as poor luck, no win is enough, and gambling alone begins. Individual hides gambling, as losses puts person behind a financial "eight ball". Addict begins to ignore family and become irritable when not gambling. Gambling becomes the sole, but spurious coping mechanism. Gambles to edge of insolvency and is unapproachable about the problem. This phase can last multiple years, with progressively larger bets on longer odds. Conversations only involves winners, not losers, which are purged from consciousness. Begins borrowing to support habit. Family life is going down in uncontrollable spiral.

3) The Desperation Phase
- - There is no time for anything else, and nothing else matters. Lying, manipulation, dissembling, and complete deflection of criticism typify this period. Externalization of blame and complete lack or accountability are hallmarks of this phase. Acute anger at others who will not participate in the lie of his or her existence is typical.
Financial affairs are disastrous. Bills are unpaid, and family is knowledgeable, suffering, and powerless. Phones go unanswered. The gambler wants it to end and contemplate suicide, which is a more frequent consequence than people imagine. Death is viewed as the only exit strategy
Rock bottom is generally the only point of possible remedial action. Only after the family forsakes the gambler, they have lost their job, they are being sued, and completely lacking in resources, does an attempt at remediation occur.
Relapses from initial recovery programs is frequent, as he convinces himself and others that he has conquered his problem, but is merely recreating the downward spiral once again but with a transparent shield of lying and deceit. This relapse may trigger undertaking recovery in a more serious way.
Unfortunately, there are many who undertake the recovery program at the same time they are still gambling.

(( Ususally at this phase, gamblers often gets bailout thru our master of manipulation and go "fighting back" again. The addict mind and concet is faulty!!! We always have a good reason for going back to gamblers .... in order to "win back" be responsible and pay back our loans .... ))

4) The Hopeless Phase
- - This is a new clinical phase which is a function of the fact that many gamblers actually go beyond the desperation phase. This phase goes well beyond what most people would feel was more than "bad enough". This phase can involve clinical depression, suicide, or actions that will most assuredly land them in jail. This is make or break time, quite literally.

Fellowship of GA (Singapore)

Dear Fellow Gamblers

Fellow Gambler, take my hand;
I'm your friend, I understand.
I've known your guilt, your shame, remorse;
I've borne the burden of your cross.
I found a friend who offered ease;
He suffered, too, with this disease.
Although he had no magic cure,
He showed me how we could endure.

We talk together side by side;
We spoke of things we had to hide.
We told of sleepless nights and debts,
Of broken homes and lies and threats.
And so my weary gambler friend,
Please take this hand that I extend.
Take one more chance on something new,
Another gambler helping you.

ONE DAY @ A TIME ~ EASY DOES IT ~ TURN IT OVER

Welcome to GA-Singapore (General Info)

Gamblers Anonymous (GA~ SINGAPORE)
Meeting : Every Friday - 7:30 to 8:30 PM
Venue : WE C.A.R.E Social Service Center (620 Tiong Bahru RoadPostal Code 158789)

GA - Singapore is officially registered with the GA ~ International Services Offices (ISO). All the starter-kits, educational materials, meeting formats, GA guidelines are all provided by GA-ISO. Bennie is currently the representative for GA-Singapore.

The primary reason for GA - Singapore
~~ it is a voluntary fellowing of compulsive gamblers gathered for the sole purpose of helping themselves and each other to stop gambling. the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop gambling.