same thing is happening yet again

Why am i not surprised?  

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes.

I was never the one right from the beginning....... 

It's no longer a mistake... It's a decision made...

And so .... no point saying sorry anymore...

Nothing to hide.... your behavior is obvious. 

But no matter what happen down the road..... i will always be good to you to everyone.

And for sure... i wont begged anyone to stay too.

  

Just for today.... i will go with the flow 🙌

Still Unable to Let go....

The void is indeed too huge..... nothing can filled it really... it has been years since my destructive gambling.

And now I'm struggling with My Last Bet..... Holding on to this Last bet dearly. And hoping for this Miracle in Life. SIMPLY UNABLE TO LET IT GO

QUOTE

"To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.” –Jack Kornfield

ACTUALLY,  WHAT BULLSHIT IS THIS 

😂😂😂😂😂

I KNOW.... Holding on to THIS last BET doesn’t fix anything. JUST hoping that this last bet is my biggest Win in Life.

Replaying the past "battles" over and over again doesn’t change ANYTHING TOO and wishing things were different doesn’t make it so too. These past will just kept HAUNTING ME.

ALL I can do is try to ACcept whatever it is, Holding on to what's left, be grateful.....  that Im still able to hold on to this last Bet (hahahahaa) .... and then slowly learn to let it go. 

That’s a Real pain in my daily Life. I keep trying to make changes... knowing the insecurity inside me. 

Today i realised.... not knowing I hv actually lost the last bet... bcos it was never meant to be from the start.

Now.... I have to learn to let go of what is hurting Me, even if it feels almost impossible.

Oddly enough, painful feelings from the past now can be comfortable too. 

MAYBE in some ways, I may not know who I am without these pain in the past, and without holding on to this last BET in life.

Bcos it just keep me going and now running 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ In Life, there is no turing back.

When the time comes...... or when my time is up....regardless how reluctant I am.... how sad I'm ....

I STILL HAVE TO LET IT GO

Enjoy this song

###########

I can see clearly now the rain is gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day.

Oh, yes I can make it now the pain is gone.
All of the bad feelings have disappeared.
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for.
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day.

Look all around, there's nothing but blue skies.
Look straight ahead, there's nothing but blue skies.

I can see clearly now the rain is gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Here is that rainbow I've been praying for.
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright)…

I Miss My Last Bet 😪

Leaving you is my last option ...... I don't have anything left to place another bet .... i can't afford another 

I'm getting old ... Time is not on my side.... i have been betting for more than 29years

You kept doing the same thing to me........ you promised me ... then you betrayed my trust.

But still ...... seriously .... I misses my bet!!😭😭😭

You are the first thought in the morning ...

You are the last thought before i fall asleep ...

And even in the middle of the night, I will wake up and check on you 😔

You are almost every thought in between.

I never once took it for granted .... my life revolved ard you... giving you whatever that is remaining with me... 

thinking HIGHER POWER will help me keep winning ...  

This is my last chapter .... You have followed me all the way to my last chapter ... And then like this.... how can you treat me this way !!!!

Hahahahahaha then A Voice replied me....

But I keep telling myself .... everyday i keep telling myself .. Don't Give Up!!!




BUT there are plenty of punters and gamblers out there ..... why shld the last bet stays with me ???

I misses my last bet...

Hey .... why You so serious ????? there's always the NEXT BET !!!!

This reply is from the bottom of my heart ........ Noooooooooooooo !!!!!!!! 

Not another Bet. I hv nothing left ....

The Void.....

Addiction filled the Void and made Life complete......

Recovery can never be possible bcos the Void after Addiction is too huge to be filled ever again.

All hope Lost.. the betrayal is just too hurtful. Fck all the lies and bullshits

Addiction Ends.... Life Ends too