Another Sad Ending of a Gambling Addict

日期: 21/01/2011 新闻来源: 联合晚报 记者: 意外组 摄影: 饶进礼

烂赌夫坠楼　遗下分居妻女

赌场、感情两失意，汽车销售员疑一时看不开，留遗书叮咛年轻太太好好照顾年幼女儿后，从住家厨房一跃而下，结束了宝贵的生命。

事故发生在昨晚8时左右，地点是兀兰环路第609座组屋。坠楼的汽车销售员是28岁的陈清德。据了解，他和21岁妻子注册结婚两年多，还未行华人婚礼，育有一个一岁多女儿。他已和妻子在一年前分居，妻子带着女儿住在娘家。

死者的父亲（58岁，司机）说，他和妻子（死者的母亲）昨晚8时回家，发现家里凌乱不堪，到处是酒瓶和食物，两人开始收拾，不久，警察上门，他们才知道儿子已坠楼。陈父过后发现儿子在睡房留了遗书，向父母道歉的同时，也要太太和家人好好照顾年幼的小女儿。

 

 

Another Sad Ending chosen by a gambling addict ...... it was reported in the papers that the dad said HE picked up gambling since young starting with soccer betting then eventually go into Casino. Since the Casino open in Singapore, HE signed up as member of the Casino. However, after losing hundred thousands of dollars which the family helped HIM to repay, the family went ahead and applied for the Casino exclusion order.  But this didn't stopped him from gambling. HIS sister said that HE tried several attempts to QUIT gambling but ended up still going back to GAMBLE .....

 

I thought to myself  ...... Even during his rock bottom, This person has never has a chance to meet people like us to help him ... He never knew that there is group that he can go to and get help ..... He never know how to deal with this cunning blaffing and powerful disease of addiction ...... He never knew why he can't stop and why he kept gambling ...

 

 

 He suffered in silence, held hostage by HIS ADDICTION and sank into depression and eventually find it too much for him to take it and decided to call it a day. BUT he just didn't know the pain he left behind ....

 

I REALLY FELT FOR HIM ..... I have been there before and understand how he feel and what's going thru in his mind ..... I bear his pain ..... I feel for his parents, his wife who still loves him and his little princess ....

 

As you could read from the many similar news, If this disease is not arrested, you not only lose money, your love ones and eventually your own life .... It's a very painful disease and even more painful if you need to suffer alone in SILENCE ....

 

Our country has a community program running for the past years to create awareness of problem gambling and kept introducing a HOT-LINE number for problem gamblers to call in and seek help ....

 

Is this effective after spending so much of money on this ...... What abt the treatment at our National Addiction Management Services at NAMS ..... ??  Do they know what kind of help we really need and are they prepare to really help people like us ......

 

What kind of help is there really out there in the community to reach out to people like this MAN whom the paper describe as 烂赌夫 "ROTTEN" ... Many would say, why you can't stop?? It's easy what ?? It's just pure GREEDY and trying to get the easiest way out in life!! HE should have known better ...

 

Are we really "ROTTEN" that means "no hope" for people like us ?? Even when he's gone, he's is being labelled as 烂赌夫 "ROTTEN Gambler" ...

Dear Fellow Gamblers,

You are not alone. COME take our hand; WE are your friend, WE understand. WE've known your guilt, your shame, remorse; WE've borne the burden of your cross. WE have found a friend who offered ease; He suffered, too, with this disease. Although he had no magic cure, He showed me how we could endure. We talk together side by side; We spoke of things we had to hide. We told of sleepless nights and debts, Of broken homes and lies and threats. And so my weary gambler friend, Please take this hand that WE extend. Take one more chance on something new, Another gambler helping you.

I have thought about it for a long time and I believe I can offer more than just sharing in this blog ... So I decided to run my own recovery support group for people like me, who wanted help but yet still struggle to stay away from gambling and facing alot of "shit" when trying to meet life on life's term ....

I have limited capacity BUT if i could just reach out and saved another life, I may be able to save a entire family, like how mine was saved 48months ago. I wanted to share this HOPE with those still suffering out there in silence....

I am in the process and looking for a place to set up this recovery support group and look at long term on how to substain running the group. Meanwhile, I will just pray that there will not be any similar SAD ENDING of another gambler ......

GOD if you are willing, help me please......

Something to Share .....

Happy New Year. Wishing all my fellowship and those who happen to read this blog a Blessed, Healthy and Peaceful 2011.

My 1st post in 2011 ..... it's a beginning of a fresh new challenging year and I was hoping for a peaceful and good start to the new 2011.  YET, it's still the same story with many same similar "problems" and "shits" ..... my good buddy Mike, spoke to me, " bro, why everytime same old story and when are you able to clear all these shits ? "

This always sound fimilar during my destructive gambling days ... but now, when no more destructive gambling and face life on life's term, the same old question being thrown at me again ...

hahaha so after all, it's not abt gambling .... it's abt me and how I meet the terms of my life ..... 

But this morning, I met a wise old man who share this with me .... it got me into thinking and giving me a spiritual awakening too ... so I thought perhaps I could write this down to share with you all and perhaps to serve as a constant reminder to me ....

As I was sharing my old "broken record" and my life TV SOAPS with this wise person, he listen attentively, gave me his total attention and making feel important .... then when I came comletely to a stop, he smile and look at him and spoke ...

"Sir, a problem is something with a solution. Since you said there's no solution at this time to the problems that you have mentioned, then, therefore it can't be a problem. How much time have you wasted in your live worrying about things that, at the time, have no solution, so aren't a problem ?"

He continued sharing, with a warm gentle smile on his face, so compassionate making me feel so comfortable listening ...

"Even when it's a problem with solution, it will still require you to make a decision. If you have to make a decision, but you are unsure about the what the decision should be, then you should take a break nad wait. Every solution has it's own destination. If that destination suits you, then take that solution. If not, you wait. There's always another solution coming behind. A good one will always comes, as long as you have the patient to wait. And it usually arrives when you least expected it, and when you are not even thinking about it"

He paused for a while, still with a gentle smile on his face. I thought he maybe looking for my respond so I smile back and gave him a nod of my head, keeing silence and awaiting for him to cont'. He then cont' to share with me a story ....


"A good strong young man, a good swimmer was enjoying a swim in the sea near a beach (not knowing it was a dangerous beach bcos of it's fierce currents. Suddenly he was caught in a strong riptide that began to sweep him out to the sea. At first, he started and tried very hard to swi, against the current as he was drifting away from the shore ...... he struggled and fight , then he realised that the force of the current was too strong for him. He then relaxed, let go and went with the flow, letting the current carrying him. After a while, the current diminished and ONLY then di he start swimming back to the shore using every bit of his reserved energy, giving everything he got. He eventually got back to the shore, totally exhausted. BUT he was very certained that if he would continue to fight the current, he would been beaten and wouldn't have made it back."

"Just like your sea of life ..... when the "current" is stronger than you, that is the time to let go and go with the flow. When you are able to be effective and do something, that is the time to put effort and give your everything"

I ask him, "how do i know there's really nothing esle that I can do ? "

He replied, "If you done the best of your ability, if you have tired, you can't think of anything else, then there's nothing else you can do .... so don't do anything, and go enjoy a cup of tea" hahaha as he started laughing ...

"Sir, Life is like those long running TV SOAPS, which many doesn't have neat ending. Life is forever in the process of change and completion. Moreover, in life, we are often caught in situations, where we don't know where to go, what to do as both ways seem just as bad .....

But in every DIRE situations, there is always some honey dripping from somewhere. If you are wise, you will put out your tongue and enjoy some of that honey, instead of wasting time thinking of a solution when there is no solution.That's our life, so why waste the moments of honey even in the most desparate of troubles. The future is uncertain and we never can be sure what's coming next" ....

Wow ..... what enlightening conversation for me ..... is really a spiritual awakening .....

These words of wisdom meant alot to me, so I thought perhaps I can share these gifts of wisdom with all of you here and hopefully can be of help to the critical problems you faced in life.

Have a nice day ahead !!