"1325"

This is that special number ...

"HAUNTED" me for the past 1 month !!!  

This is my favourite number esp when it falls on the month of my birthday in May. I love to buy this number during the month of my birthday and of course in the past during my active addictions, I did strike this number many times ... The stakes were big then ... at times 50big 50 small or 10 bet 120 small ..

Thesedays, I still buy 4D and Toto .... of course stakes are now small $1 big or $2 big and of course no more illegal betting.

Why, so small now ..... "No money mah!!" is it right ???

Or becos Im in recovery ?? Then why must bet ??

Buy small "HOPE" in daily life mah !! Oh yeah ??

What ever the reason was ... the main thing is "BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF!! ONLY YOU KNOW THE TRUTH!!" in this case ... I know the truth and I am responsible for my own actions.

But the stakes got increased drastically during the past 3 weeks as income were good and it falls on the month of my "birthday" ....

The worst thing is for the past 3 weeks, where ever I go, the combination of 1325 kept appearing!!! Damn it.

Car Numbers, Bills, Cash Card value, Reciept Number, Door Number, HP Number, where I go, on the daily basis ... IT JUST KEPT APPEARING IN FRONT OF ME !!!!

Devil playing with me or God Hintint me ... This kept spinning in my head..... And of course I thought to myself...

HOSAY LIAO !!!

IT's COMING,　要來了 .... !!"

Then I started rolling the numbers 1 week before my birthday on the 25th May ..... $1 big roll means $24 .... 1 week 3 draws means - - $72 !!! Plus the actual number $2 big front and back ....

NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION - - DID I STRIKE ??

WOW KAU !!!!!

KENA EAT DRY DRY!!!

So what's the moral of this story ???

Never ever believe "it's coming" wahahaha

Also the more you want it ... the more you won't get it !!! hahahaha

One Bet A Day !!!

One Bet A Day ...... Sounds good and resaonable ??

If the bet per day is restricted to $20-$40 ...... No big deal right ??

That is what I think so .....

Income was good in the month of Apr bcos of the increased assignements ... I paid all the bills on time, given the household and extra money earned to my wife except that ....

I kept that $30- $50 for me on a daily basis for the past 1 month depending on the day earning.

I though to myself, now I could manage this 1 BET per day thingy well .... So I started ...

1 week passed .....then 2 weeks then coming to end of month ......

I haven't being winning at all ..... almost 80% of the tickets ended in the bin .....

Well, I didn't felt the pain as it was money that I could afford ... Still in deep denial ....

Then come 2nd Week of May which I have no more assignments ... OUCH !!!!

Damn ME !!!

How much money I have lost over the One BET per Day thingy .....

$50 x 21 days x 80% = $840!!!

This is not the money I could afford !!! goodness me .....

WHY DIDN't I STOP ...... OR WHY DID I Started it ....

Why didn't I Think of That !!!!


IS THAT TRUE  ??? I have thought of that ... but i made that choice to start .... now I goto "DAMN me " ???

DENIAL .. DENIAL ... DENIAL

Didn't Even Notice I Am Lying

It's a big big problem with me, maybe with all gambling addicts. Always thinking it's ok, no problem, I can handle now .....

Now I have to struggle to stop that "ONE BET A DAY" disease in me .... and damn !!! It's always so easy to get it going but so tough to come to a complete stop ....

Haizz ....