Cookie - The Gambler ??

When Cookie, the Gambler is in denial ....

When Cookie, the Gambler is struggling to stop ....

When Cookie, the Gambler is coping with DEBTS ....

Interview by ST

ST reporter called me yesterday to do a interview with me over the phone on problem gambling .. AGAIN ??

so when i ask the reporter Janice, wat's the purpose of the report ??

Again, the same reply, - Awareness .. and also to get my opinion on the following issues

1) whether problem gambling is on the rise ?

2) whether help is readily available in singapore and whether they are effective ?

3) whether having Casinos here make it more difficult for gamblers to quit ?

and then to ask me abt my past again....

That clearly showed me the standard and research done by this reporter .... and it also tell me that many still do not understand what is gambling addiction and problem gambling !!!

To many, problem gambling is a moral weakness ... mainly bcos of greed and once you stop gambling, all the problem will be gone !!!

Compulsive gambling is a progressive disorder!!

IT IS AN EMOTIONAL ILLNESS.

As the compulsion rises, the gambler is often forced into a pattern of lying, cheating and stealing to stay in 'action'! wages and stakes also rises, eventually the gambler's money disappear. Obtaining money becomes paramount important, which eventually leads to lying and cheating, borrowing and even embezzling.

Everytime a gambler does that, he or she always rationalized by a very serious and sincere vow to pay back the money!!

then it will leads to loanshark, illegal activities, crime, broken family and even suicide.

To seek help, treatment ... the compulsive gambler has to be willing !! If the gambler is not willing, no one can force him to treatment. The most important is to break out it's destructive behaviuor pattern!! it's not about just stopping gambling!!

The FIRST STEP is - Realising that help does exists..... apnd next step is to be willing to seek help .... this is the beginning step of recovery - HONESTY !!!!

Look .. RECOVERY IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION !!! it takes much more than time and effort !!

Where do gamblers go for help in singapore ??
Professionals at NAMS, family service center, religious support group, community service center ? HELP LINE ???

From my own experiences, the chances of rehab through just one of them are slim.... we need a holistic help through out the life journey....

RECOVERY is a JOURNEY and we have to learn to incooperate into my daily life. To many in recovery, life on life's term just simpily sucks

What the problem gamblers and gambling addict needs here is a holistic approach to provide a FRAMEWORK OF HOPE, STRUCTURE, and FRIENDSHIP from those who had lived the recovery successfully adapted to life without compulsive and destrcutive gambling!

This journey can be smooth or reocky but in any case, IT IS NEVER A PAINLESS JOURNEY !

What consistutes a holistic and effective recovery program ?? In my own views .....

1) it must be able to help gamblers to undercuts denial, projection and rationalisation.

2) it must help gamblers to identify the serious implications of gambling.

3) it must demands honesty and responsibility.

4) it must be able to help the gamblers to identify tand correct their character problems.

5) it must be able to give affection, personal concern and support for the problem gamblers and their family members, to learn how to live life on life's term.

6) it must have a program to help problem gamblers to develops sustitues for the void left by gambling.

7) AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, it Must be non-judgmental and sincere.

Again, this is in my own personal opinion.... but where to get such a facility in singapore?? there's none able to provide such a holistic support.

""ARE WE READY TO PROVIDE SUCH A SUPPORT, A HOLISTIC CENTRE FOR PROBLEM GAMBLERS AND THEIR FAMILY??""

I was very fortunate to be able to do one year of FULL TIME recovery back in year 2007. Each day, i did avg of 3 meetings. I attended recovery support group meeting in IMH, WE CARE, ONE HOPE. I attended courses on addictions, attended regular counseloring sessions, group therapy, pyso-education etc on the diseases of addiction. Most importantly, learn simple life skills to re-live my life again.

Each of the center gave me different kind of help and support that I needed for myself and family. Then there are WESLEY social service, CDC and CDAC that i went there for help to cope with Life so that my family is being look after. Not mentioning my kind employer who still pay me half-pay while I was suspended from service. Most importantly, the very kind good doctors I met,the very professional counselors I had, and most importantly, my recovery group which walk the journey with me then for the next couple of years.

I don't how the interview will turn up on the news or whether I will be mis-quoted, so I better give my own version here rather than leave it to the ST reporter to phase it for me.

AGAIN , THIS IS PERSONAL VIEW. There is nothing against any organisation and institutions.

Thank you for coming to my nlog and reading my strength and experiences!!

GOD BLESS

 

................They do not understand that stopping gambling is just a beginning of a very painful journey.. only us, we can understand ...

"Another Sad Story ... Becos of DEBTS !!!"

No mention of problem gambling here .... but it's about other critical problems in life, meeting life's term that led many to look for quick-fix solutions to deal with their overwhelming "debts".... such as gambling, borrowing ... and here in this case "borrowing from Mr. SHARK!!" ...

and to some, extreme case ...

Quick-Fix Solution = "Death"

Here's the report in Chinese ... (pls pardon me for those who can't understand Chinese as I cn't seem to find this report in English)

辅警向大耳窿借钱 无法偿还走上绝路

（2011-06-29）● 傅丽云　报道

　　拖欠银行和电信公司等近四万元债务，薪水被银行扣除，辅警转向大耳窿借钱，结果非但没解决问题，财务状况反而更糟，最终走上绝路。李邝明（译音，38岁）数次向母亲说，如果无法偿还债务，他会跳楼或自轰；家人知道后，非常担心，设法帮他清还。

但时间一久，他们以为李邝明不是认真的，认为他应为自己的财务负责，就停止协助他。 去年5月31日下午3时30分左右，李邝明在公司AETOS位于裕廊企业路的基地厕所内自轰。

验尸庭昨天开庭研讯，验尸官杨启英认为李邝明死于自己造成的枪伤，而他这么做是要自寻短见。

死者原籍马来西亚，担任AETOS辅警约两年，驻守大士关卡。他的基薪1100元，靠加班能赚约1757元。调查显示，死者欠三家电信公司、五家银行和金融公司，以及一家家具店共近4万元。事发日，死者到大士关卡值班，时间从午夜零时30分至下午3时。死者值班时表现正常，还与同事开玩笑，根本没显露情绪低落或沮丧状况；与同事回裕廊基地归还佩枪等配备时，也没出现异样。

不过，在排队归还佩枪时，死者突然转身告诉女同事说“我再也受不了了”，然后离队。该女同事问他要上哪儿，他回说要用厕所。不久，女同事就听到一声巨响。她怀疑是枪声，但也以为是重物落地之声，就不以为意，继续排队。 当时，死者的另一同事阿兹曼在储物室更衣，也听到巨响，于是到厕所了解情况。

阿兹曼闻到浓烈弹药味，就走到第一间厕室查看，发现血液从第二间厕室流入。他急忙到第二间厕室敲门，但里头毫无动静，只听到沉重呼吸声。 阿兹曼跑出厕所求助，最终与另一同事合力打开厕门。他们见死者左手拿着佩枪，仰卧在地。

警方从死者的裤袋找到一封遗书。死者在遗书中对自己的行为表示歉意，说他选择这条路，将让自己不再有任何痛苦和负担。

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(I read this sentence with lots of thoughts ..... I once thought of it as well ...... the report wrote that he said in a letter he left behind..

"I regret my actions but I decide to chose this path of no return is to free myself of all the sufferings and burdens" !!!!

HOW CAN WE REACH OUT TO PEOPLE LIKE THIS ..... WHO HAS THE THOUGHTS OF ENDING EVERYTHING and NEEDED SOMEONE WHO CLD REALLY UNDERSTAND HIM ... LISTEN TO HIM AND WALK HIM OUT .......

################

死者也表示希望上帝可以解救他，释放他沮丧和无助的灵魂，同时希望公司能提供经济援助给他患病的母亲和即将成为寡妇的妻子。 针对死者的遗言，AETOS发言人回复本报询问时说，公司已尽所能为死者的家属提供经济援助，尽力协助他们渡过这个艰苦时刻。 “我们为他的不幸死亡感到无比难过。与此同时，我们也通过一些措施协助有困难的雇员，预防类似事件的发生。”

发言人说，公司通过“职场情绪健康计划”，帮助员工更好地处理情绪问题。除了内部的辅导员，它也与其他的辅导中心合作，为有困难的员工提供最大援助。

另外，死者在自轰五天前，发手机简讯给一个朋友说，他很难偿还债务，“当我的薪水被银行扣除时，我没办法，只好向大耳窿借1000元，还以为银行不会扣除我的薪水，我可以偿还一些给大耳窿，但现在更糟。我想结束生命……”死者较早前也打电话给这名朋友，说他情况不好，负担很重，想要自轰，该朋友加以劝阻。

死者只跟上司提过，他跟妻子有些问题，但从未向上司或其他同事提及经济困境。2008年，死者的妹妹曾帮他偿还1万2000元给银行，其他家人也帮过他数次。他们虽知死者有轻生念头，但以为他只是说说罢了。

IT's really sad .... and it's really painful for those who still loves him dearly .....

Accepting My "Best"

In recovery, I don't have to do it any better than I can !!

As long as I have done it to the best of my ability and  要對得起天地良心 , just for this moment, I am able to LET IT GO.

If my best is not good enough, if I have to redo it, then I can do my best in another moment later !!

Striving for excellence is a positive quality BUT striving for perfection is self-defeating !!

There are days when my best is less than what I hoped for ...... I have to learn to let those times go. Start over tomorrow. Work things through, until my best become better !!

Think about it ......



To "Ah Soon"

Hi Ah Soon

Thanks for your email "Ah Soon looking for you @ relaspe 2 June"

I tried to reply you but can't seems to send the mail to you @ "Sherry23", mail keep bouncing back so I decided to write this on the blog so that you could see this.

As you know very well that since Nov 10, I no longer going to Nams as I am not welcome by the professional there or perhaps to quote:  "I am not suitable to be a volunteer there to help people"

Currently, I am having regular kopi sessions at United Square with some of the fellowship as part of recovery meeting. You are always welcome to join us. I will ask Phang to text you when we set up the next mtg.

If you keen to meet me for a 1-1 heart to heart chat, just send me a sms, and we can arrange to meet and chat over kopi.

Meanwhile, please take good care. Instead of continue to try help and rescue other new comers in NAMS, doing those committed "duty" at GAMES, please consider this : "Help yourself and look after yourself first at this stage of recovery.

"Recovery is not about stopping gambling."

"Recovery is a process of change."

"Changes takes time and Changes can only take place with Acceptance and Honesty."

The moment one said he's 70%-80% or 90% recovered, there's where the disease of addiction, the devil will take control !!

Even Till now, I am very much still a gambling addict and my life is still unmanageable!

Regards

Bennie

"1325"

This is that special number ...

"HAUNTED" me for the past 1 month !!!  

This is my favourite number esp when it falls on the month of my birthday in May. I love to buy this number during the month of my birthday and of course in the past during my active addictions, I did strike this number many times ... The stakes were big then ... at times 50big 50 small or 10 bet 120 small ..

Thesedays, I still buy 4D and Toto .... of course stakes are now small $1 big or $2 big and of course no more illegal betting.

Why, so small now ..... "No money mah!!" is it right ???

Or becos Im in recovery ?? Then why must bet ??

Buy small "HOPE" in daily life mah !! Oh yeah ??

What ever the reason was ... the main thing is "BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF!! ONLY YOU KNOW THE TRUTH!!" in this case ... I know the truth and I am responsible for my own actions.

But the stakes got increased drastically during the past 3 weeks as income were good and it falls on the month of my "birthday" ....

The worst thing is for the past 3 weeks, where ever I go, the combination of 1325 kept appearing!!! Damn it.

Car Numbers, Bills, Cash Card value, Reciept Number, Door Number, HP Number, where I go, on the daily basis ... IT JUST KEPT APPEARING IN FRONT OF ME !!!!

Devil playing with me or God Hintint me ... This kept spinning in my head..... And of course I thought to myself...

HOSAY LIAO !!!

IT's COMING,　要來了 .... !!"

Then I started rolling the numbers 1 week before my birthday on the 25th May ..... $1 big roll means $24 .... 1 week 3 draws means - - $72 !!! Plus the actual number $2 big front and back ....

NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION - - DID I STRIKE ??

WOW KAU !!!!!

KENA EAT DRY DRY!!!

So what's the moral of this story ???

Never ever believe "it's coming" wahahaha

Also the more you want it ... the more you won't get it !!! hahahaha

One Bet A Day !!!

One Bet A Day ...... Sounds good and resaonable ??

If the bet per day is restricted to $20-$40 ...... No big deal right ??

That is what I think so .....

Income was good in the month of Apr bcos of the increased assignements ... I paid all the bills on time, given the household and extra money earned to my wife except that ....

I kept that $30- $50 for me on a daily basis for the past 1 month depending on the day earning.

I though to myself, now I could manage this 1 BET per day thingy well .... So I started ...

1 week passed .....then 2 weeks then coming to end of month ......

I haven't being winning at all ..... almost 80% of the tickets ended in the bin .....

Well, I didn't felt the pain as it was money that I could afford ... Still in deep denial ....

Then come 2nd Week of May which I have no more assignments ... OUCH !!!!

Damn ME !!!

How much money I have lost over the One BET per Day thingy .....

$50 x 21 days x 80% = $840!!!

This is not the money I could afford !!! goodness me .....

WHY DIDN't I STOP ...... OR WHY DID I Started it ....

Why didn't I Think of That !!!!


IS THAT TRUE  ??? I have thought of that ... but i made that choice to start .... now I goto "DAMN me " ???

DENIAL .. DENIAL ... DENIAL

Didn't Even Notice I Am Lying

It's a big big problem with me, maybe with all gambling addicts. Always thinking it's ok, no problem, I can handle now .....

Now I have to struggle to stop that "ONE BET A DAY" disease in me .... and damn !!! It's always so easy to get it going but so tough to come to a complete stop ....

Haizz ....

需要- - - 想要！！！ （Need Or Want)

Recently I had done something which even amazed myself ..... I was caught it a personal battle of thoughts ...



"Do I Really Need It ?? " or "Do I Want to have it ??"

In the past, during my gambling days ... I wouldn't even need to struggle with such thoughts at all. Whatever is being given to me or offered to me, I will just gladly take it with open arms and then justified my "needs" ot "why I take it" with loads of beautiful reasons !!! Exactly the same when I place A BET !!! I have loads of reasons to always justify my next bet .....

Even till today ... Now it seems like the BEST REASON I used to justify when I place my next bet is either

"I am a gambling addict" or

"No harm done, I just buying a HOPE nw. I am not betting like before !!"

Hahaha ..... is it really true ?? There is a still a certain great degree of DENIAL in me. Of course, I need not answer to anyone. I only need to answer to myself. I can lie to the whole world but I wld never lie to myself. I would never want to carry those excess baggages of lies anymore.

DO I WANT TO BET or DO I NEED TO BET ??

Now, back to the incident that lead me to have some thoughts for myself.....

Someone close to me wanted to buy me a laptop .... for the purpose of the work I am doing and helping her .... Initially, I was overwhelmed and delighted as I wanted to have a laptop for a long time. So I gladly accepted it as partly it's work related. So I went around hunting for it and comparing pricing. Once I zoom in to the machine I wanted, I got the money from her and went to it.

However, when I was about to make that payment, there was a huge force opposing me and kept questioning me, "Do you really need it ??" .... it kept haunting me till I back out and walk out of the shop. I ordered a cold drinks, sat down and talk to myself..... What's the problem with me ? Now, I never ask for it, it was offered to me, it's partly work related, why can't I get it ??? BUT the same old questions persist .... DO I NEED IT or is it just purely I WANT IT !!!



After some serious struggle, I then confessed to myself, "I DON't REALLY NEED IT !!!!" No matter what, it's still other people hard earned money and If I doing ok and coping ok without a laptop, then why use the money .... on the other hand, it may start to divert my attention from my daily lifes again .....

I quietly calm myself down. Tell myself it's the right thing to do and return home and told my wife my decision of not getting the laptop. Then my wife asked, " Did you think of using the money to gamble today ?"  hahaha

The next day, I returned the money. Then I felt a sense of joy ..... but somehow as the day went by, in the night, I felt aggitated again .... for watever reasons I'm unclear !!! But I didn't dwell in the thoughts and went to bed early.....

I am indeed amazed with myself and I believed when I return the money and explaining to the person why I decide against buying, I think she wld be amazed too bcos in the past, this won't happen......

So have recovery change me ??? When people ask me, I prefer to leave it to the people close to me to answer this question ....

But do you still place a bet ??? When people ask me this, I prefer to say the truth, yes I do. And I still enjoying it very much especially over  soccer games....

But why do you wana bet ??? hahaha now instead of using my standard answers, I have to start question myself ...

DO I WANT TO BET or DO I NEED TO BET ??

"Another Talk " .... "Your BEST Bet ?? "

Yet another "Talk" being presented to you by the "professional" who talks well. However, you have to place a "BET" of $10 in order to attend the "Talk" ...

Is it YET another "TALK" ONLY ??? .... Every year, same type of FORUM, same type of TALK .... and down the road more talks .... Again the same similar million dollar question I wana ask

1) Other the "TALKS", What can we do really to reach out to the probelm gamblers out there struggling and their family members suffering ?? Is it just "TALKS" and call the "HELP-LINE" ??

When we reach out, what can be done (what can we put in place) to really HELP the problem gamblers and their family members ? Do "they" have a heart to help in the first place ? OR just another job or another pot of gold ?

Does "Someone" who was never a gambler, go thru the "roads" that we gone thru, and by simply, purely done alot of studies about problem gambling, can tell you what's inside the gambler's mind !!!

Anyway here's the details and remember to Buy your $10 ticket ..... like the forum said ..... it may be your best bet !!! Good Luck.

Hopefully one day all these "showman-ship" things will change..... of course only if God is willing ......

Your Best Bet: Problem Gambling Forum 2011

The National Additions Management Service is proud to present "Your Best Bet: Problem Gambling Forum 2011"

Join us at the Problem Gambling Forum 2011 where psychiatrists and certified addictions counsellors talk about when gambling becomes a problem and what goes on inside a gambler’s mind. A recovering gambler will also share his journey to recovery.



DATE:  26 March 2011 (Saturday)

VENUE: 
HDB Hub Auditorium, Basement 1
480 Lorong 6 Toa Payoh, Singapore 310480


TIME: 
9.30am – 12.30pm (English session)
2.30pm – 5.30pm (Mandarin session)

BET:
S$10/person per session (includes refreshments)


Programme information.

1) When Gambling becomes a Problem

2) A Gambling Addict Journey to Recovery

3) Inside the Gambler's Mind

4) 10 Frequently Ask Question about Gambling

A Sad Ending of A Army Officer

Another familiar story .... yet another sad ending ..... This story touches my heart .... how many of such stories have we read and how many of them went untold ....

Just check out what were the comments given in the link below for this report:
http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2011/02/15/army-captain-turned-loanshark-runner-charged-in-court/#

SAF captain turned loan-shark runner sentenced to jail, caning

By Faris – February 19th, 2011

 

Kheng said that his first visit to the casino at Resorts World Sentosa had got him hooked and in the next few months, his loss exceeded “five figures”.

An army captain was sentenced to 2 years’ jail and twelve strokes of the cane for working as a loan-shark runner to repay his debts.

Kheng Kok Keong, 34, had pleaded guilty on Monday to four charges of harassment for vandalizing the homes of alleged debtors. Seventeen other charges were taken into consideration by the judge in sentencing.

The father of two children revealed that his first visit to the casino at Resorts World Sentosa last year had got him hooked. As such, he made repeated visits. In the next few months, he went on to lose a small fortune exceeding “five figures”.

“I went to the casino to check out the place out of curiosity but things started (to get out of control) from there and I just couldn’t stop,” he told The Straits Times on Thursday. After losing $30,000 at roulette, he turned to unlicensed moneylenders. When he could not repay the loans, he was roped in by a creditor — known only as Ah Seng — to harass other debtors.

His jail term was backdated to Oct 16. He had been held in remand after he was arrested at Block 103, Commonwealth Crescent. That night, he had vandalised an eighth-floor unit. He was caught by his victim when he returned to retrieve a pack of cigarettes he had left behind.

By then, he had been on the “job” for four months. From last June, he had vandalised homes by splashing paint on doors, injecting glue into padlocks and keyholes, and scrawling messages on walls.

Before his run-in with the law, Kheng was working as a logistics officer in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF), drawing a monthly salary of $5,000. In his 14 years with the army, he had also served as a peacekeeper in Timor Leste. He was sacked after he was charged.

According to court documents, he vandalised 21 flats in September and October last year, mainly in Clementi, Commonwealth Crescent, Redhill and Toa Payoh. Whenever he received an assignment, he would leave his Yishun Avenue 6 flat with his gear of black paint, black permanent marker, superglue and ski mask which he wore to obscure his face.

“Since I borrowed money, and they offered me this option, I just did it,” he said of his decision to be a loan-shark runner. “I wasn’t scared, I just thought that was the only way to repay the amount.”

He earned $2,000 each month for his efforts, all of which went towards paying off his debts.

Before he turned to Ah Seng, he had borrowed smaller sums from friends. But each time, he would go back to the casino hoping to recoup what he had lost. That was how his losses snowballed, he said.

After his arrest, his creditors besieged his flat and threw black paint on the gates, as he had done to his victims. To avoid the harassment, his wife returned to her native Taiwan, taking along their children aged five and seven.

Asked if he regretted his actions, Kheng fell silent. “I have lost contact with her,” he said of his wife. His parents, who were not at the sentencing, had also become estranged from him.

##############################################

The diesease of addiction not only affected people with low education, low income or poor family. It can also affect people who had good education, high education, high income, a well-to-do family too.

Man, woman, young, old, rich, poor ..... It's always only evident as a gambling problem when one start losing .....

The diesease of gambling addiction has no preference ..... it can hit anyone, anytime, winning, losing, chasing etc .... 

IT has no cure but it can be ARRESTED ..... but you can't do it on your own ...

So now even our govt sector people are affected ..... so is it "infectious" ... how bad has it spread ??

Is anyone looking into it ? Is anyone providing help, reaching out to these group of people, helping them to get back on the right track again ? Is all the money we spent on this community project of "Know the Line" working ?? Anyone really evaluating it ???

On the other hand, many gambling addicts kept complaining ... "Is anyone giving us a second chance ......."

To all gambling addicts out there ..

I have a message for you ....

"You have to give yourself a second chance in life first, before  anyone could give you that second chance in life that you need !!! 

In recovery, It works only if you work it !! Take that First Step towards recovery today !! The road of recovery is always under construction and it may not be completed in this life time !!

Another Sad Ending of a Gambling Addict

日期: 21/01/2011 新闻来源: 联合晚报 记者: 意外组 摄影: 饶进礼

烂赌夫坠楼　遗下分居妻女

赌场、感情两失意，汽车销售员疑一时看不开，留遗书叮咛年轻太太好好照顾年幼女儿后，从住家厨房一跃而下，结束了宝贵的生命。

事故发生在昨晚8时左右，地点是兀兰环路第609座组屋。坠楼的汽车销售员是28岁的陈清德。据了解，他和21岁妻子注册结婚两年多，还未行华人婚礼，育有一个一岁多女儿。他已和妻子在一年前分居，妻子带着女儿住在娘家。

死者的父亲（58岁，司机）说，他和妻子（死者的母亲）昨晚8时回家，发现家里凌乱不堪，到处是酒瓶和食物，两人开始收拾，不久，警察上门，他们才知道儿子已坠楼。陈父过后发现儿子在睡房留了遗书，向父母道歉的同时，也要太太和家人好好照顾年幼的小女儿。

 

 

Another Sad Ending chosen by a gambling addict ...... it was reported in the papers that the dad said HE picked up gambling since young starting with soccer betting then eventually go into Casino. Since the Casino open in Singapore, HE signed up as member of the Casino. However, after losing hundred thousands of dollars which the family helped HIM to repay, the family went ahead and applied for the Casino exclusion order.  But this didn't stopped him from gambling. HIS sister said that HE tried several attempts to QUIT gambling but ended up still going back to GAMBLE .....

 

I thought to myself  ...... Even during his rock bottom, This person has never has a chance to meet people like us to help him ... He never knew that there is group that he can go to and get help ..... He never know how to deal with this cunning blaffing and powerful disease of addiction ...... He never knew why he can't stop and why he kept gambling ...

 

 

 He suffered in silence, held hostage by HIS ADDICTION and sank into depression and eventually find it too much for him to take it and decided to call it a day. BUT he just didn't know the pain he left behind ....

 

I REALLY FELT FOR HIM ..... I have been there before and understand how he feel and what's going thru in his mind ..... I bear his pain ..... I feel for his parents, his wife who still loves him and his little princess ....

 

As you could read from the many similar news, If this disease is not arrested, you not only lose money, your love ones and eventually your own life .... It's a very painful disease and even more painful if you need to suffer alone in SILENCE ....

 

Our country has a community program running for the past years to create awareness of problem gambling and kept introducing a HOT-LINE number for problem gamblers to call in and seek help ....

 

Is this effective after spending so much of money on this ...... What abt the treatment at our National Addiction Management Services at NAMS ..... ??  Do they know what kind of help we really need and are they prepare to really help people like us ......

 

What kind of help is there really out there in the community to reach out to people like this MAN whom the paper describe as 烂赌夫 "ROTTEN" ... Many would say, why you can't stop?? It's easy what ?? It's just pure GREEDY and trying to get the easiest way out in life!! HE should have known better ...

 

Are we really "ROTTEN" that means "no hope" for people like us ?? Even when he's gone, he's is being labelled as 烂赌夫 "ROTTEN Gambler" ...

Dear Fellow Gamblers,

You are not alone. COME take our hand; WE are your friend, WE understand. WE've known your guilt, your shame, remorse; WE've borne the burden of your cross. WE have found a friend who offered ease; He suffered, too, with this disease. Although he had no magic cure, He showed me how we could endure. We talk together side by side; We spoke of things we had to hide. We told of sleepless nights and debts, Of broken homes and lies and threats. And so my weary gambler friend, Please take this hand that WE extend. Take one more chance on something new, Another gambler helping you.

I have thought about it for a long time and I believe I can offer more than just sharing in this blog ... So I decided to run my own recovery support group for people like me, who wanted help but yet still struggle to stay away from gambling and facing alot of "shit" when trying to meet life on life's term ....

I have limited capacity BUT if i could just reach out and saved another life, I may be able to save a entire family, like how mine was saved 48months ago. I wanted to share this HOPE with those still suffering out there in silence....

I am in the process and looking for a place to set up this recovery support group and look at long term on how to substain running the group. Meanwhile, I will just pray that there will not be any similar SAD ENDING of another gambler ......

GOD if you are willing, help me please......

Something to Share .....

Happy New Year. Wishing all my fellowship and those who happen to read this blog a Blessed, Healthy and Peaceful 2011.

My 1st post in 2011 ..... it's a beginning of a fresh new challenging year and I was hoping for a peaceful and good start to the new 2011.  YET, it's still the same story with many same similar "problems" and "shits" ..... my good buddy Mike, spoke to me, " bro, why everytime same old story and when are you able to clear all these shits ? "

This always sound fimilar during my destructive gambling days ... but now, when no more destructive gambling and face life on life's term, the same old question being thrown at me again ...

hahaha so after all, it's not abt gambling .... it's abt me and how I meet the terms of my life ..... 

But this morning, I met a wise old man who share this with me .... it got me into thinking and giving me a spiritual awakening too ... so I thought perhaps I could write this down to share with you all and perhaps to serve as a constant reminder to me ....

As I was sharing my old "broken record" and my life TV SOAPS with this wise person, he listen attentively, gave me his total attention and making feel important .... then when I came comletely to a stop, he smile and look at him and spoke ...

"Sir, a problem is something with a solution. Since you said there's no solution at this time to the problems that you have mentioned, then, therefore it can't be a problem. How much time have you wasted in your live worrying about things that, at the time, have no solution, so aren't a problem ?"

He continued sharing, with a warm gentle smile on his face, so compassionate making me feel so comfortable listening ...

"Even when it's a problem with solution, it will still require you to make a decision. If you have to make a decision, but you are unsure about the what the decision should be, then you should take a break nad wait. Every solution has it's own destination. If that destination suits you, then take that solution. If not, you wait. There's always another solution coming behind. A good one will always comes, as long as you have the patient to wait. And it usually arrives when you least expected it, and when you are not even thinking about it"

He paused for a while, still with a gentle smile on his face. I thought he maybe looking for my respond so I smile back and gave him a nod of my head, keeing silence and awaiting for him to cont'. He then cont' to share with me a story ....


"A good strong young man, a good swimmer was enjoying a swim in the sea near a beach (not knowing it was a dangerous beach bcos of it's fierce currents. Suddenly he was caught in a strong riptide that began to sweep him out to the sea. At first, he started and tried very hard to swi, against the current as he was drifting away from the shore ...... he struggled and fight , then he realised that the force of the current was too strong for him. He then relaxed, let go and went with the flow, letting the current carrying him. After a while, the current diminished and ONLY then di he start swimming back to the shore using every bit of his reserved energy, giving everything he got. He eventually got back to the shore, totally exhausted. BUT he was very certained that if he would continue to fight the current, he would been beaten and wouldn't have made it back."

"Just like your sea of life ..... when the "current" is stronger than you, that is the time to let go and go with the flow. When you are able to be effective and do something, that is the time to put effort and give your everything"

I ask him, "how do i know there's really nothing esle that I can do ? "

He replied, "If you done the best of your ability, if you have tired, you can't think of anything else, then there's nothing else you can do .... so don't do anything, and go enjoy a cup of tea" hahaha as he started laughing ...

"Sir, Life is like those long running TV SOAPS, which many doesn't have neat ending. Life is forever in the process of change and completion. Moreover, in life, we are often caught in situations, where we don't know where to go, what to do as both ways seem just as bad .....

But in every DIRE situations, there is always some honey dripping from somewhere. If you are wise, you will put out your tongue and enjoy some of that honey, instead of wasting time thinking of a solution when there is no solution.That's our life, so why waste the moments of honey even in the most desparate of troubles. The future is uncertain and we never can be sure what's coming next" ....

Wow ..... what enlightening conversation for me ..... is really a spiritual awakening .....

These words of wisdom meant alot to me, so I thought perhaps I can share these gifts of wisdom with all of you here and hopefully can be of help to the critical problems you faced in life.

Have a nice day ahead !!