It is never easy.....
Trust me.....
All things seems going well in the family, then one day .....
One similar situation, like one in the past, happened.....
I thought perhaps after seven years in recovery and making so much changes, they wld now trust me and have faith in me that I will not go back to my old ways.....
BUT I WAS WRONG......
THE SAME DOUBT.....
THE SAME NO FAITH....
THE SAME LACK OF TRUST....
I was upset initially...... Thinking why still no faith and trust in me..... Started to get angry..
Then I just kept quiet .... And walk away...
It took me a while .... One whole night in fact ... To change the negative to positive...
AT least ... THEY ARE STILL BY MY SIDE ... AND WALKING THE JOURNEY WITH ME...
THEY DIDN'T ABANDON ME....
so.....
Wake up... Maintain my silence....
But give them a hug....
And start our day all over again.
THe pain.....
Can be forgiven...
But won't be forgotten....
Keep going BENNIE.
13 comments:
I was feeling so hopeless last night. Really desperate for information about handling ah long and so I Google about it. And finally I came across your blog. I spend the rest of the few hours reading into late night and finally I fell asleep. I mean it's really inspiring and you gave me lots of courage, faith and directions in life. I am still in the state of wondering how should I handle them, and also legal money lenders. But whatever it is. I've decided to go clean with my family and friends.
How should I settle my debt? Ah long and legal lenders. How did you manage to do that? What happened next? How did you deal with them? Please advise
Hi.
I am glad that what I shared here has given you some hope and courage in life.
Do remember before you decide on anything ....
1) "THERE IS NO MAGICAL SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM"
2) "NO SOLUTION" is also a solution.
One step @ a Time,
One day @ a Time,
Beginning with Honesty, coming clean with your immediate family. No need to take a mic to broadcast to everyone your problem or tell everyone how brave you are to come clean .... BEAR THIS IN MIND....
No one will appreciate that...
I do not know how to advise you as don't not know the extend of your problem and how long have it been going on and was it the same problem as before ......
What I did was the extreme that now looking back, I may not want to do the same ..... extremely painful for everyone at home ...
BUT again, everything happened for a reason, and perhaps that was the best way for me ...
Each of us, our situation, our rock bottom is unique ..
BUT OUR ADDICTION IS THE SAME.
There is no model answer for all
OR
Same path for everyone in recovery.
Take it easy bro.
Put the debts aside first if you wana come clean with the family ....
You can't be worrying about how to pay, how to handle the loanshark, when you wana come clean ...
If you purpose of coming clean is get help to bail you out of the situation rather than dealing with your addiction, then the problem will get worst ...
If you come clean, to deal with yourself, your addiction, to give yourself a second chance in life ... then you are onboard.
Keep it simple.
Hi
Thanks for spending time to reply, I really appreciate it.
I've already come clean with my family. I decided to handle only the legal money lenders and put all the ah long aside. But I really feel so bad to make my family live in fear every day. I'm wondering what's gonna happen if I don't return. What kind of extend will they go. Should I go to the police first? Or just totally leave it?
I was Googling about gambling addiction and landed on your blog. I am sorry that you are disappointed over your family's lack of trust. As a victim myself, and I am a very harsh person, try not to expect them to trust you ever again totally. My mother hid her gambling addiction from the family and lied to us to cover up her trips to the casino. In the end she had to sell the family home to return the vast amount of debt she chalked up over the years. My father's retirement fund is gone and the whole family does not have a roof over our heads now. I hate her, boy, I do hate her. How could a mother do this to her family? To her children? And in the end, she puts the blame on us, on how lonely she feels at home when she is never home at all, gambling in the casino. I can bring myself to think that I came from this immoral woman. I want to forgive her but I don't think I can, I've been trying and everytime it makes me so angry.
I just want to say that the victim suffers the most because they never receive any gratification from the doer's evil habits and yet suffers the betrayal and catastrophe created by the doer. It takes a lot to build trust but when it is broken, it cannot be mended. You are a very brave man and I wish you well. I do hope that one day, before my mother dies, I am able to forgive her and look for her again.
The issues involving gambling has been a popular topic amongst scholars for many years. At first glance gambling may seem unenchanting, however its study is a necessity for any one wishing to intellectually advance beyond their childhood. Until recently considered taboo amongst polite society, its influence on western cinema has not been given proper recognition.
Dear Yv
I fully understand your pain .... Really.
It is never easy for the victim but at the same time, it is never for the addict to stop gambling without support and help from the family.
Both the addict and the family member need proper help to get out of the rock bottom and pain ....
Many view us with poor moral values .... but they don't understand what is "gambling addiction"..
In my experience with older gambling addict, which include my own Aunt who is 70+ ... they just can't stop. And they too don't believe in treatment.
She once told me "gambling is part of me for the last 40years and more. What you want me to do now ... both my legs have stepped into the coffin liao ....."
She con't .... "how long more can I gamble ????"
I have no doubts about the real victims being the poor family members as I saw how my wife, three children and my parent suffered after I came clean ... the pain is still in them ....
They have forgiven me BUT they cannot forget what I have done to them...... BUT THEY STILL DID their very best to support me during the early recovery period and walk through with me in the very difficult moments.
I won't be able to do it on my on.
For Sure, I would have given up long ago.
I am grateful for it. Really.
And I am sure your mum is grateful for all the bail outs by all in the family.
There is only one MOTHER....
Regardless of who she is , what she has done, and the drama that she has caused ....
Difficult to forgive.....
But please do not wait till her death bed........
Perhaps many would say that it's better for people like us to die faster ...
But I always believe that there is always good in every person...
AND I AM VERY SURE ...
THERE IS ONE THING GOOD ABOUT YOUR MUM ....
Focus on that one good thing, and that's one thing is worth for you to forgive her.
Take Care Yv.
Thank you for your reply Bennie. I need that. :)
yv
The blog was absolutely fantastic! Lot of information is helpful in some or the other way. Keep updating the blog, looking forward for more content...Great job, keep it up.
goldenslot
https://onlinecasinohrvatska.com.hr
I was getting bore since morning but as soon as I got this link & reached at this blog, I turned into fresh and also joyful too.
This is an informative blog by which I have got that info which I really wanted to get.
https://onlinecasinosrbija.rs
Your articles make whole sense of every topic.
https://polskiekasynoonline.com.pl
i was going through an article and found out about a man called Dr Mack. i have been suffering from breakup issues with different guys. i had to contact the spell caster.Steve was on the verge of leaving me for another woman. but i stayed positive and believe i could have him back and make him stay. lo and behold Dr Mack helped me.Steve and i are getting married soon. Dr Mack is such a nice man, he also helped me stop my cardiac problem. Thanks to him and thanks to God for the gift given to him. If you have any problem whatsoever, contact him on this email: dr_mack@yahoo.com
Post a Comment