Merry Christmas Greetings & Thanks Giving

Dear All

Year 2010 has been a extremely challenging, exciting and terbulance year for me and my family. Alot of things to learn from this year, and to be fair to myself, I have learnt my lessons well. hehehe This year, I have run a good race.

And I believe, all of us, to each of our own ability has run a good race this year .... give yourself a pad on the back.



The most exciting part of this year is seeing the true colours of many people around me 形形色色.

真的是日久见人心. But I still believe that there's kindness inside each and everyone of us...人心是善的 !!

Plenty of things to be grateful for ... however this year, it's sad that I can't share with you in the room where we built our fellowship and friendship .... but still you are still on my gratitude list. However, there some special mentions ....

Recalling the incident back in May 2010 ..... I wouldn't have able to go thru it safely without you guys.......

Raymond, Cheah, Daniel, Joseph, Steven, Jason, Uncle Poh ...

Thank you very much for all the help during that very difficult period for me. I really appreciate it very much.

Mike, you are one of god's gift to me. Thanks for everything you have done for me, the help you have given me since we met. I enjoyed every moment of the time we spent together. Thanks for treating me like a real brother. I really treasure our brotherhood. Thanks Brother.

Johari, coming 4years since we met ... recalling your warm welcome in that special room , your warm smile, warm hug ... it has kept me going for the last 4 years. It has infected me, and I am glad that over the past 4 years, I am able to pass it on (the warm welcome) to every new comers that comes into my recovery support grp.... make them felt a sense of not-being-alone anymore .... Till today, I still enjoy every little meeting we had ... there's always so much to share to catch up ... Thanks buddy.

My children, Celena, Benjamin and Carys ... alot had happend between us this year. Regardless of the happenings, it is really a awakening journey for me. Celena, I have learnt alot from all the drama that happened to us this year and Dad still love you just as much. Benjamin, I am proud of your PSLE achievement simply bcos you have worked hard and done your best. Carys, you have never failed to brighten up my day!! Children, I believed that we are bounded even much closer after this year.

The most amazing person in my life all this while of none other than you, Winnie ..... my dearest wife. Simply put it in a sentence ... "I wouldn't have survived till today without your unconditioned love for me .... " thanks for still treating me as a little child, keeping check on me and giving me pocket money each day. This has kept me safe hahaha Love U.

王慧国居士, thanks for your guidance and the skills you have taught me during the holiday.... it's really a big milestone and breakthrough in my life.... 谢谢师父。

And of course without them I won't be here ....... and during my rock bottom, without their tough love for me, not bailing me out anymore, I have that chance of re-born and live my life again .... To my dearest Parent, thanks for not giving up on me and your tough love. Slowly but surely, I will make it right and make it there :)

Finally, everything started and also ending with GOD. A Big THANK YOU !!

我佛慈悲怜悯。。阿弥陀佛

Merry Christmas to All

May the year 2011 brings you lots of blessings, love and good health.

Though a new year, new challenges but one thing remains always the same for me ....

"I am still powerless over my addictions, and my life is still unmanageable." 

But slowly, steadily and surely, I am making progress.

GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU.

Thanks For The Concerns

Dear Fellowship and Friends,

I recieved quite a number of calls and concern emails on why I am not at the meeting and wondering whether something has happened to me or there's some issues at home ...

Some has even wonder that I have relasped and feeling too shameful or guilty to go back .... Hahaha

Thanks for all the concerns. I am doing well and fine. My family is well and fine. We are standing together, walking the journey together in recovery. Though there's some struggle and obstacles in the recent month where I was out of job, resting and awaiting for my students to resume their tuitions. But still, together as a unit, my family survive it well happily and better than the same period in previous years.

THIS IS WHAT I MEANT BY PROGRESS .... 

I walked out from Nams with my head held high up. There's no shame and guilt. If there's such feeling, it's definitely not coming from me.



Do doubt that my ego and pride was hurt by the insult, but I walked out to protect my own dignity and pride, to protect my own recovery. So don't worry, I am still standing tall. Btw, work has slowly resumed for me so income will slowly be stable again.

Once again, thanks for the concern. It's a choice that I have made.

Take care of yourself, your recovery and your family. God Bless

Losing Emotions ..... Don't Fall back into the Trap

I hate losing .... I dislike losing feeling ..... I dread the unlucky cycle !!!

It's very easy for a gambling addict to fall back into the gambling cycle again .... So during your recovery journey, it's important for you to work on your awareness, your emotions and your safety net against falling back into the trap.....

If you "Fall" ..... Quickly pick up yourself from the slippery slope, and prevent yourself from the free fall .... Don't sit there and cry, hit yourself and go into the mode of self-blaming and self destruction. Start climbing up the slope of recovery again!



When I admitted "I am a gambling addict", I understand that my brain function differently from normal people. The chemical in my brains are not balance anymore ..... Add on the the years of the false belief system, it's really a life-time battle. If I don't get it right this time, next time, doesn't mean I am a failure. As long as I have done my very best for that particular moment, to the best of my ability, it's ok.



In recovery, we seek progession and not prefection !!

So in order not to get trap back into it again, beware of the following emotions on the cycle of gambling

There is a well known pattern found in problem gambling. People with a gambling problem usually experience such emotions. The gambling cycle will continue until some significant commitment to due with these emotions .....

(1) Desire to Escape Emotional Crisis (self, at home or at work)
(2) Desire for Quick Money
(3) The Win  may be used to pay debts
(4) Start Chasing the Loss, feelings of panic and despair can drive a person to chase what has been lost.
(5) More Loss - Not accepting past losses. Believing that you are entitled to win more.

(6) Financial Crisis Again, being in further debt. Start borrowing.
(7) Greed

(8) Emotional Crisis

• Disappointment and dejection
• Great sense of remorse
• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
• Broken promises to self and others
• Guilt and Shame.
• Damage to self-esteem creates a need for a coping strategy - escaping the crisis by gambling (relapse).

(9) Finally - Dread,the intense reluctance to face THE situation. IN DEEP DENIAL


So, take care of yourself, your emotion well-being..... seek help early by talking to another recovery person. Don't wait till you fall all the way down the slippery.

Many of us in recovery found emotional relief right from the moment we started sharing the "truth". We were tired of pretending that our addiction and our lives were under control; it actually felt good to finally admit they weren’t.



After sharing our inventory honestly, we began to feel like we didn’t have to deny who we were or what we felt in order to be accepted. When we’d finished making our amends, we knew we didn’t have to suffer with guilt; we could own up to it and it wouldn’t kill us. The more we worked our recovery program, the better we felt about living life as it came to us, even if we have a slip or relaspe. But we could prevent ourselves from going back to destructive gambling!!

By taking stock of our day, getting honest about our part in it, and surrendering to reality, we can survive the feelings life throws our way. By using the tools available to us, we’ve developed the ability to survive our emotions.



Remember, it's not the end of the world. We all being through this before. Try and Try again.

In recovery, it's one day at a time, easy does it, turn it over.

The Beginning Of My New Recovery Journey

To My Fellowship at NAMS,

My recovery journey with NAMS has finally come to an end. I am grateful for the recovery time I spent with NAMS over the past 4 years, especially with you guys. I have benefitted alot from the time I spent at NAMS and I really enjoy the fellowship we had together, the honest, open, emotional sharing, the pain, the tears and the laughter. However, the insult and humiliation I recieved this time is really a very bitter pill for me to swallow. Though, in the past, various organisation has done that to me before ...

" Need me, Nice to me, Use me ! Dn't need me, Political to Me, Reject me and Dump me aside"

But this time, when it came from the person, organisation I least expected, it's indeed very painful. Given that these people are "professional" at NAMS, they have all the right to judge me based on their professional assessment. So to be fair, it's time to move on, if I can't swallow that insult and humiliation.

Looking back 48months ago when I first joined the RSG, from a very small group, walking the journey with different batches of people seeking help, some came, some left after a while and of course the current stable group of fellowship that kept coming back and remains. I dare to say I am a big part of the RSG, I have hold the hands of many at their desparate stages and walked along with them in their early recovery. I spent time with them, sharing with them my strength and experiences, helping them with issues, life's challenging issues like

• loansharks harassessment
• police investigations
• debts repayment
• migitation for court hearing
• speaking to their loved ones
• time in imprisionment
• re-employment 

..... But most importantly, help them to keep coming back to the RSG room, and together we share how we could use our strength and experiences to face and cope with life on life's issue.

Since May 2008, I have always volunteer my services, doing outreach program, sharing my story and strength with many gambling addicts. I am doing these for my own recovery, because by sharing with others, I am actually helping myself. The theraputic relationship/value of one addict helping another is without parallel. I, myself, in the early recovery have met such recovery people who help me, hold my hand and walked with me. These are God's gifts for me in my recovery and I wanted to pass them on to the next addict that wants help.

All these while, I have never expect any gratitude or appreciation from those that I have helped as this is my recovery, and I am willing to help.

In recent times, I have shared honestly in every meeting about my struggles and times that return back to small bets to cope with my life issues, especially those days which there's no job, no income, no saving. It's always on the back on my mind, quick fix soultion for me, choosing the next game to win a few quick bucks.

I am a gambling addict. The urges to use gambling, esp my favourite soccer betting as a quick fix solution is always on my mind. I always share that openly and there's nothing to hide. I share with my wife too. I have to do that. Honesty in Recovery is utmost important. Even till today, I don't hold on to money. I only take pocket money from her. So it was never destructive and I would never return to destructive gambling because I treasure what I have today.

SO Why I left ? What's the insult so big and bitter that I can't swallow since what I share was honest and I have learn to be humble to listen and accept what others have to say ....

From the start, I have never ask for any recognition, I have never asked to put my name down as a official NAMS volunteer when they formed up this official "NAMS Volunteer" group which needs to be interview by a panel of "professional" at NAMS. The closest person in NAMS working with me, ask me whether I am keen to join because they shortlisted me. I told him I understand the red-tape and white-tape in the management and perhaps they do mind about my sharing and about my past and current situation. He said no problem and let the interview panel decide.

OKAY, I replied. Weeks passed and there was no news and update. I told myself, Fine, no problem and I will carry on doing what I always been doing ...... till one day, this person called me and told me the management had a meeting, and he and some other professional assess that because of my current situation, they advise me that I am not suitable to join their volunteer group! They did this without even giving me a interview like they did to other volunteer ....

What bullshit ..... I told myself ... Of all people, coming from where I least expected where he knows how much work I have put into my recovery and also in reaching out to other addicts, the number of people that has benefitted from my outreach and sharing. And the fact that we went stage together to give a talk to a organisation in MCYS .... the interviews I was requested to do in the past, the article I was told to contribute to their books, the calls I received from them to talk to some of the new comers etc ....Unbelievable!!!

It's a great insult and humiliation to me .... I was overwhelmed with emotions and very disappointed .... Angry... I was hurt ... My ego and pride was very hurt .... "I am not suitable" to be their volunteer or perhaps I do not meet their requirement!

Indeed it's a bitter pill to swallow.... But I have to swallow and learn to swallow. They are the Professionals in Addiction and Recovery and I am just a Gambling addict. They have all the right to assess me and judge me. They are Professionals from NAMS.

Nothing to hide.... to them, I am not Clean ... Perhaps My honest sharing poses danger to the new comers....

To them, I am not good enough. But does this means I find a reason to go back to destructive gambling? Of course not Silly!! It will motivate me even more. It will allow me to spend more time and energy in my own family members and my own future development =)

I may not be good enough for NAMS volunteer group, for the RSG they are running. But let me share with you this ... Today, after 48 months in my recovery journey, I am proud of my own recovery and I will con't my recovery journey.

I don't need to answer to anyone or compare my recovery with anyone. It's my recovery and I own it. Today...

I AM GOOD ENOUGH FOR MYSELF !!

I AM GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY WIFE !!

I AM GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY CHILDREN !!

I AM GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY PARENT NOT TO WORRY ABOUT ME !!

AND

I AM GOOD ENOUGH TO SHARE MY STRENGTH AND MY EXPERIENCES WITH MANY GAMBLING ADDICTS STILL SUFFERING OUT THERE BECAUSE I REACH OUT TO THEM WITH A SINCERE HEART !!

People, places and things changes in Recovery.... Perhaps God has open a new door for me some where. It's time to move on liao.

Thank you all for the good time in our fellowship which I treasure it very much. Will continue to keep in touch with all of you and we could meet up for kopi and makan to have a chat. In recovery, it only takes 2 person to have a recovery meeting.  

Keep yourself safe, one day at a time, easy does it and turn it over.

Take care and God Bless

Ah Soon 's Recovery Testimonial

He’s ‘70% cured’ after seeking help for addiction

(Straits Times Report 24 Apr 2010)

Not all gambling addicts can stay away from gambling always ... . But there are some who manage to kick the habit, with lots of help and support.

One recovering gambling addict in his late 40s, who gave his name as Ah Soon, told The Straits Times his fascination with gambling started when he was six. His father would invite friends home for day-long mahjong sessions, and Ah Soon was designated to serve them drinks. When his father needed to visit the toilet, Ah Soon stood in for him.

His impression then was that “gambling and winning money make people happy”. He also came away with the idea that gambling was a good way to make money, and soon began dabbling in it.

In school, every outcome that was in doubt was fair game. He bet with friends on the sex of that next spider they would catch, or who would win an arcade game. As he grew older, the gambling extended to buying 4-D.

But it was not until 1995, when he got married and took his wife to Genting Highlands for a honeymoon, that he first stepped into a casino. For someone like Ah Soon, a roomful of games to bet on was too good to be true. He won RM2, 000 at first, but lost it all by the end of his trip, Despite the losses, he was bitten hard by gambling bug.

He said: “Singapore had no casino then, but I kept thinking about how to gamble after I got back.” He started visiting the jackpot room at a club next to the factory where he was working as a storeman. At lunchtime each day, without fail, he made his way to the room.

Three years later, his company folded and he was retrenched. Then, he found a job as a karaoke jockey. Clients and friends took him to play at illegal gambling dens in Geylang. He gambled, lost and borrowed from loan sharks.

His wife knew he had a gambling problem and made him hand over his pay cheques. But he began stealing from her, and from their joint bank account, to feed his habit. He even stole her jewellery and pawned it.

The last straw came in early 2008, when he took his wife’s pay cheques and gambled it away. She informed their families of his gambling addiction, and said wanted a divorce. But she could not bring herself to do it. So she issued him an ultimatum: “Go seek help or I will report your thefts to the police.”

In September 2008, he turned to the NAMS (National Addiction Management Service) at the IMH (Institute of Mental Health) for help. After One and half years and countless Therapy sessions with counsellors and Psychiatrists, he said his addiction is under control. But he added: “I am not fully recovered, maybe 70 per cent. It will be a long time yet before I am in the clear.

He confessed to getting the urge to gamble from time to time, but tries to suppress it by taking up new hobbies. Turning to Buddhism has also helped him, he said. To ward off further temptation, he agreed to a family exclusion order last December which bars him from entering the two casinos here.

His advice to those battling similar gambling demons?

"The most important thing is to seek help. And never give up even if there is a relapse" he said.

Soccer Betting Seasons

 ..... 2010/2011 Soccer Betting Season (Problems) ......

It's been slightly more than 2 months since the new season of the European leagues have started. Some punters who are on a good winning run, started to develop his own belief system that he has got a winning formula. Some punters who are on a losing run, started chasing game after game, with the belief that he can't be losing forever. Some even gone into a desparation mode, seeking tips everywhere and even from spiritual divine power to help predict the winning outcome.

Some have accumulated overwhelming soccer betting debts ..... even at very young age. Some have even thinking about ending their life bcos to pressure, stress, guilt and shame

Are you one of them ...... Do spend some time thinking and reflecting .... even if you are on a winning run .....

- Are you addicted to soccer punting .... "I just can't stop"

- Do you think you have a winning system to analysis the games .... "Sure Win odds"

- Are you getting worried about your gambling behaviour

- Are you tired of all the chasing games to cover your overwhelming debts

- Are you planning show-hand during this coming weekend

- Ask yourself .... "Have you cross the line ? Or Are you about to cross the

Then ask yourself again, Do You want help .... ??  Think about your family and love ones ...

~ Maybe Anonymous help

~ New friendship with group of people like youself but is in the process of change

~ No discrimination ... only acceptance ..

~ No judgement ...

Why suffer alone ?? Why not seek help from people like us who could share our strength and experience together to battle this new soccer season and keep yourself safe period ?? Some may reply

- - "I can't stop the battle now. I need that hope ... "

- - "My debts is too overwhelming now. I can't let my family know"
- - "I just can't stop. I enjoy the game"

- - "Must I stop gambling totally in order to qualify for help"  

We help one another to battle to keep ourselves safe from destructive gambling ..... keep ourselves safe from crossing the line to the point of no return ....

"THERE'S HELP AVAILABLE .... DON'T WAIT TILL YOU LOSE EVERYTHING..."

The only requirement for to join us is a desire to stop gambling.

Successful recovery in our fellowship depends on the following few variables:

1. Come with an Open-mind. We don't judge one another. 

2. A Willingness to be Honest with other members about their gambling. The problem gambler tends to minimize the damage that their gambling has caused. This is a strategy that all gamblers use in order to live with their problem, as often the real implications of what they are doing are too horrible to contemplate. But if a member can be honest about the pain that their gambling is actually creating, their motivation will be increased to find a solution.

3. Identification with the fellowship find HOPE. Our members tell their stories about their gambling and what they have done in order to stop gambling. What emerges from such a reading of those stories is an awareness in the new member that he can then draw the conclusion that if those members have overcome their gambling problem, perhaps I can too. Hope for oneself is felt and this energy can be used to pursue the solution.

Debts - Credit Counselloring Singapore (CCS)

In recent months, there's quite a number of people asking and seeking help with CCS for their finiancial woes .... some are gambling related debts. In recovery, a good, proper debt repayment plan is important for a recovery person. But to even step into the process of doing this, this recovery person must learn and understand H.O.W .... Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness.

As a gambling addict, being Honest with my debts is the most difficult part of my recovery!! Alot of Gulit, Shame and Ego problems.

However, I just want to take this opportunity to share with you one of the member's experience with CCS, and he's into his 2nd year of repayment plan and doing well in this recovery. Though in recovery for a short period of time, he's a good role model for many, the way he pick himself up, safe his job, keep his family together and most importantly staying away from all forms of gamblings.

Member Experience with CCS - simple 3 Steps Process

.... but hor you need to be very patience ....

Step 1 - Compulsory Attendance of Free Info Talk on Debt Management

- He called CCS to book the appointment to attend the talk, available in 2 weeks time.

- Attended the 2-hour talk 2 weeks later. During the talk, 4 options will be explained to those attending the talks

• Self Administration
• Composite Settlement
• Debt Management Programme (DMP) ~ need to submit a blue form
• Bankruptcy ~ as a last resort when all else fail to resolve the debts.

- Submitted a Blue form as his option is DMP.

- Go back and wait for CCS to call for 1-1 counselling session which he is required to prepare

• All the necessary documents of all his debts. 
• Total household income and total household expenditure.

Step 2 - Credit Counselling to Explore Solution

- The 1-1 session was arranged 6 weeks later from the day of the talk. (Must bring along $30)

- Case Officer will

• Asked questions and why you ended at such state/situation/problems
• Will go through your household expenditure and would advice accordingly
• Explore the options and propose lifestyle adjustment in resolving the debt problem

- At the end of the counselling session, both the counsellor and him concurred that the DMP is the most suitable option, CCS then started work on it, subject to DMP Review Committee's approval and put up for the creditors consideration and acceptance.

Step 3 - Setting DMP for Approval

- He waited about 3 months for the formal approval of the the DMP and the date for the signing of the DMP propsal was set. He has to bring along $100 (can make arrangement to pay by installment)

- Case Officer will explain how the DMP proposal works before submitting to all his creditors.

- Case Officer advice him to pay up according to the DMP proposal on time monthly if not the creditors have the right to void the plan

3 simple steps, but hor

• lots of paper works to fill up figure which gamblers doesn't like .....
• lots of questions which gamblers don't like to answer .....
• long waiting time of 3-4months so don't expect it to be immediate which gamblers wanted .....
• while waiting, respond to all legal letters, don't run away from it .....

Lastly, join a support group .... it's really tough to go thru it on your own. Let someone who has gone thru the process share with you his strength and experience.

Money Management In Recovery

For a Compulsive Gambler like me, Money is the source of all evil ...... Till today, after 46months in recovery, I still couldn't handle money and I am grateful that my wife is managing it well for me and giving me pocket money on a daily basis.

Sound wired ?? I am a grown up adult, head of family, father of 3 !! Why can't I handle money ? I tried. But always ending up placing bets with the little extra money I had. It's proven. When I lost this extra money, I felt so guilty and wanted to chase the next bet again and the cycle will always continue.

SO I CAN'T !!! Because I am a Gambling Addict. I need to keep myself safe and my family safe.

So how do I manage my money ?? Here are some suggestions which was what I did in recovery which you could consider too.

1. Take responsibility for my financial situation.

- - Contact a credit counselling service, a bankruptcy trustee, and/or make a "proposal to the creditors" and pledge to repay a portion of your outstanding debt. This will not only help with your finances, it will help re-build your self-esteem. But plan repayment with realistic expectation and consideration must be putting the family needs on the top of priority. Always Feed family first.

- - Loanshark / bookie repayments ?? please think. You have the answer.

- - Too overwhelming debts like mine, $680k, legal and illegal, there's no way I could offer any form of repayment since I was discharged from my previous employment. Bankrupt is the only option for me.

- - Keep a financial inventory of your daily expenses.

2. Don’t try gambling again as a way to solve your financial troubles.

- - Get sober up and sane first, then find a job if unemployed. Start to earn proper money and feed your family with proper money. Re-adjust, Live simple and within means. Gambling is always my quick fix solution. Whenever, I have financial troubles, my mind is always to pick the next right game.

- - Don't think of gambling to pay the next bill. I have fallen to this trap many times. It's a lame excuse to go back gambling again.

3. Get a part-time job if necessary.

- - This will occupy your free-time and help keep you from looking for a ‘quick fix’. It may be tough, but in the long run will help with your financial situation and make you feel better.

- - For me, when I have no tuition assignments during the school holiday, I will go get a part-time job to keep me occupied and earn some money for home. If not, I will be looking and searching for the next sure win bet. My mind has already started wondering away especially now it's ending of school term.

4. Put someone else you trust in charge of your money 

- - Let your next  significant person in your life to handle your $, your ATM or credit cards, at least for a period of time, or destroy them completely. Take daily pocket money.

5. Protect your assets by transferring their titles to your spouse or partner’s name.

6. Limit the amount of cash you have access to by:

- - Having wages automatically deposited into your bank account. Transfer to your spouse

- - Destroying ATM cards or personal cheque-books

- - Setting up bank accounts that require two signatures for withdrawals, rather than just your own

- - Setting up daily cash withdrawal limits

- - Paying bills electronically, not in cash

7. Seek professional help for your problem gambling ....

Hope you find these suggestions useful and helpful. Give it a try. Take it one day at a time. Let go of your ego .... it's much easier ....

Living in the Present

The present moment is all that I have. Everyday is a bonus as life is not in my hand. I don't know when the time is up for me, neither do I know what will happen the next day when I wake up. No matter what happen in the past, what happen now, what may happen in the future, the sun will still rise in the east and will still set in the west. Earth will still rotates around it's orbit, life will still carry on.

I can't change my past, I am afraid of the uncertainty in the future. I only have the "present" moment. 

Everyday in recovery, I will tell myself "Let's move on".

I may have let go of the pain, shame and guilt caused by my destructive gambling .... it take time to heal ....

I may have plans and goals ... but I am afraid of my plans and goals .... 

I may have a vision for tomorrow ... but the vision is not that clear ....

But NOW is the only time I possess. And I have to constantly tell myself it's enough for this moment. On a daily basis, I try to clear my mind of the residue of yesterday, clear my mind of the fear of tomorrow. I will make myself available to this present moment, just as I share with you my emo on this blog at this present moment. After which I will focus in spending time with my son, preparing for his psle science paper tomorrow.  

My mind was clouded with thoughts earlier and for the past weeks. I was in the addictive mode again. I was doing the chasing again .... all because I was afraid, fearful for what is coming in Nov and Dec which I have to rest, and start regret the past yet again... 

"HAVE NO FEAR, CHILD" ... a gentle voice whispers. Have no regrets. Let go the resentments. Trust the present moment as it has it's purpose. It is by being fully present now that I will reach the fullest of tomorrow. All I have is the present moment. I have to learn to TRUST ..... but at times I wonder ... trust what, trust who ?

But I have have is NOW .... And I have to tell myself it is enough. I will affirm that all is well around me when all is well within in. No matter what problems I faced, they are part of life, so are solutions!! Everyone have problems to work through.

In recovery, I learn to face, focus and solve only today's problem. I won't worry needlessly about tomorrow's problem.

"Is it Worth A Bet ? " - Community Gambling Prevention Conference

Yesterday from 9am to 1 pm, there was a community project on gambling prevention- "Is It Worth A Bet ?"  held here in Singapore. A wide range of topics were discussed during this conference. I managed to extract some of the newspaper cutting from the Chinese Paper ( Zaobao ) and share with you here in my blog together with my own thoughts and view. 

Recent headline of the Free Shuttle Service to IR was also discuss in the Conference. During the weekend, the reports noted that there weren't any reduction in the crowd at the IR, and punters still swarming to the Casinos. 

So where are we heading now ?

Have the authority thought of the losses incurred by the bus operators, and also the job of the over 30 bus drivers are at stake here !!!

What about their families ? If the bus service is the issue of creating more gamblers in Singapore, why not cancel all other bus services to the IR !!

At times I really do wonder whether the decision made by those in power, made any sense ?? Or are they just acting for the sake of reacting and make sure being seen in doing something good for the community.

 

During this community conference, many professionals still think that by visiting the Casinos, many would become a problem gamblers and eventually a gambling addict. Then they would start to cause many social problems. The newspaper cutting below reported that these professionals thinks that by stopping the Free Bus services, we can protect those who has very weak self control or self-will, and stop them from going to the Casino  ......

 

 

 

I thought to myself, do these people understand about gambling addiction, or perhaps do they even understand the gambling problems in Singapore or the Gambling culture in Singapore .....

 

So, is everyone saying that weren't many problem gamblers, social problems caused by gambling in Singapore even before the IR were built ??? Touch your heart, Think Again .... Is it true ???

 

 

 

During one of the professional sharing, Dr Guo Song from NAMS, IMH, shared with the public that research has shown that only 1% of the gamblers would eventually become gambling addicts, meaning only 1 in every 100 gamblers is a gambling addict.

 

So if that's the proven study in the field of addiction and we in Singapore love "figures"so much, why cancel the Free Bus Service for the General Public just because of these 1 % ??

 

IR has also given the figures that more than 60% of those taking the Bus Services don't go to the Casinos..... Why not a proper study and on ground survey being done properly before such hasty decision. RWS shares with the reporters that on a daily basis, only 5%of the gamblers came by the Free Bus Service.

 
Why are we targetting at the IRs and not other gambling activities and social problems caused by problem gambling even before the IRs were built ?
 

Dr Guo also shared with about 200 members of the public that studies has shown that the gambling addicts will directly and indirectly affect the lives of 10-17 people around him, family, relatives. friends, colleagues etc. He will affect their finanical health and emotional health with lies and borrowing.
 
These 10-17 people will go through stages of denial, stress and breakdown.
 
Dr Guo shared that the best way to protect themselves is to use tough love. Do not enable the gambling addicts by bailing them out and allowing them extra money to chase their losses.
 
Cut the fuel and oxygen and fire won't burn. Gambling addict will manipulate, lies, pretend to gain sympathy, swearing each time they won't gamble again. Some even threaten suicide in order to seek bailout. (See article on the right)
 
 
 
 
 

I don't represent any organisation nor am I anti-govt. I am just speaking from the point of a recovering gambling addict and wanted to do something for recovery community here in Singapore. I don't only critisice. I share my strength, experience in recovery to create awareness, so that there will eventually be acceptance for people like me.

We are not bad and evil people. We are just sick people trying to get well. We need proper help, medical help, community assistance, family acceptance. 

Every gambling addict has his/her own prefereed choice of game. Casino is just one of them. Why waste so much energy and money in this area where many are suffering becasue of other gambling activities such as the slot machines, internet gambling, soccer betting, horse racing, 4d betting etc ?

Why do we kept barking at the IR who has contributed so much to our economy recovery by paying so much taxes ? I really do pity them. They are doing just running proper business like other club houses in Singapore who offer slot machines for their members and general public. What about the 300 over Singapore Pools outlets in every of our estate? What about those illegal bookies which are operating so huge in Singapore, offering internet betting to their customers ?

If you want really help us, help the problem gamblers, help those in danger of crossing the line, please engage us, hear from us. The therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel.

Thanks for allowing me to share. Once again, my name is Bennie, and I am a gambling addict.

Probe on Free Bus Services to IR

The Casino Regulatory Authority (CRA) in Singapore has issued directives to the two Integrated Resorts (IRs) on 11 Sept 2010 to stop their free shuttle bus services with immediate effect. The CRA directed both IRs to ‘cease all their shuttle bus services with immediate effect’, apart from certain destinations spelt out in the law regulating casino advertising such as the airport and hotels.

 

Resorts World Sentosa (RWS) had initially announced on its website that it will cease its bus services plying housing estates on Sunday night. However, RWS stopped its free shuttle services yesterday afternoon after receiving the directive from the CRA.

The outcome of the free shuttle bus services provided by the IRs came to light on Wednesday, after the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) said it is seen as promoting gambling among heartlanders.

So what do we view as promoting gambling ?? Why built Casino at the first place ??

What about the following ? (ON A DAILY BASIS)

1) TOTO draw - Every Monday and Thursday

2) 4D Draw - Every Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday

3) HORSE Racing - Every Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday

4) 4 Major leagues in Europe - Every Weekends Football matches

5) S-League, A-League, J-League, K-league - Every other days

6) UEFA Champion league and Europa League - Every Tue, Wed, Thur (alternate weeks)

7) Motor Racing - Weekend Races 

Not to mention, the close proximity of the Singapore Pools And Singapore Turf Clubs betting outlets in Singapore. The Singapore Pools branches and authorised retailers (over 300) are located conveniently across the island and are open 7 days a week throughout the year. Now some even with extended timing till 10pm during weekends to allow punters to place their bets. Some kiosks even have machines (computers) to allow punters to do research on teams and matches with very good compiled statistics

What about the live betting outlets which allows bets to be placed on events while in play. Customers can place live bets through PoolzConnect (phone) or at our sports entertainment venues:

1) Livewire (Resorts World Sentosa)
2) SportsBuzz (PoMo)
3) SportsBuzz (Kranji)

 
Latest news

a) NEW Outlet  at Great World City Branch which open 0am to 9pm daily.

b) IMM Branch--upgraded at #02-25 to serve punters better. Open Mon - Thu, 8am to 8pm;  Fri - Sun, 8am to 9pm.

Why at happening at "family" malls ??

So many new attractions for gamblers in Singapore, and Casinos are just the ice-ing on the cake. Where do Casino Players go when the IR won't here in Singapore ?? Where do all these so call uncles and aunties go ? .... look at the picture below

Not to mention the short trip up the Genting .....

So are we doing this ......


And what can we really do to address the real root of the gambling problems in Singapore ??

And do we know what is the real root of the problem in problem gambling ??

Is it the problem gamblers or the gambling activities ??

Can we look into a holistic system and approach to help gambling addict, problem gamblers and those who are about to cross the line .....

Is the "hot-line"approach all that the brilliant people can offer ??

In recovery of addiction, it works only if we (addicts) work it. So how to attracts the addict to come out and seek help and work it ?

Penny for your thoughts ......

A Gambler in Denial

Recently a recovery friend sent me this piece of news on the internet, story by Yahoo! Singapore on 28 Aug 2010 ...

I read with interest over and over again. Let me share with you the story here and share with you the similar thoughts, denial and belief system which are similar to mine during my destructive gambling days.

The first thing which impressed me was, at the age of 28 he has S$100,000 in saving, which he claimed he lost within minutes ... hehehe anyway I like this story. 

Here you go

Singapore News

Man bets S$100,000 life savings online — and loses

By Ion Danker – August 28th, 2010

Just a few minutes of madness caused Gabriel Lim, 28, to lose S$100,000 – his entire life savings – on an online gaming website. What possessed him to take such a risk?

Currently unemployed, the former store supervisor first got hooked to online baccarat last November after friends introduced him to the game.

<< A store supervisor with $100,000 life saving at age of 28 !! Impressive bro >>

The lure of ”easy money” induced Lim to set up an account with the online gaming website. Initially, Lim started with small S$5 bets but blessed with ”beginner’s luck”, his winnings soon came up to an average of S$2,000 a day in the first few months.

“I was playing it almost three hours each day at home and sometimes in the office too,” he told Yahoo! Singapore.

“I remember winning S$15,000 within a day, it really felt good,” said the diploma holder, who quit his job to focus full-time on his new passion.

The adrenaline “rush” from winning big caused Lim to make bigger and bigger bets, all in the hope of making a huge windfall. Then came the crash in March earlier this year — in just a matter of minutes.

<< My cycle of destructive gambling ... Winning - Chase, Losing - Also Chase, Keep Losing - Must Chase, Desparate time - Die Die Must Chase, Win back some - Best time to chase !! Got Gamble got hope. I won big before. I have runs of winning steaks. This losing phase won't last forever one. >> 

Revealing how he lost $100,000 in the blink of an eye, he said, “The simple rule [in online gambling] is to use the ‘doubling up’ method, where you double your bet amount each time you lose. But remember, once you lose ten games in a row, log off and accept defeat,” Lim said.

“But I lost discipline and control and went against the ‘rule’. I continued with the 11th game thinking I would be able to win back my losses but lost everything instead.”

<<  After losing that $100k, he still think that he lost because he is not discipline and not enough self control. He still believe that he has a system that can works and it worked before because he has won big before. And even came out with his own rules and theory for on-line betting !!! Something wrong with his brain ?? Of course not. I was just like him. This is the mind of an gambling addict >>

“I was stunned for a few minutes and when I realised all my money was gone, the only thing I wanted to do was smash things up to vent my anger and frustration,” he said.

Afraid his parents would find out, he turned to his elder brother after seeing his personal savings wiped out.

“[My brother] lost S$50,000 at the casino so he understands what I am going through,” Lim said.

So how is he dealing with the loss?

Lim nonchalantly said no one is to blame except himself. When Yahoo! Singapore spoke to him, the single man didn’t appear too affected by losing such a huge sum of money.

He even remains adamant that he is not a compulsive gambler. He says he is now looking for a new job so he can start saving from scratch in order to build up another pool of capital.

 

“I will continue to gamble once I save enough cash and I believe this time round, I will follow the rules and win back my money,” he said confidently.

“I don’t consider myself a compulsive gambler because to me, it’s more of a tactical thing where I strategise to win money. The key is discipline.”

(( The story ends here ....... ))

Why should I stop ?

I am just out of luck and out of bullets at the moment.

I win before and I have a system that works.

I will rest for now, fine tune my system and once I gather my bullets, I will try win back everything. I will follow strictly the rules I set for myself.

hahaha this tune is constantly playing in my mind even after 45 months in recovery. This music kept playing over and over again during my years of destructive gambling, especially after each bailout of my debts.

Recalling, one desparate Sunday night in 2006, when I was left with $500 bucks in my on-line betting account, I need to make a repayment of more that $40k worth of debts on the next day...... I kneel down infront of my Higher Power, get joss sticks burnt my own hands and swear infront of my higher power, if you help me overturn my losses tonight, I will never gamble again !!

Then I started tossing 2 coins to get HIS indication for the 5 spanish games I selected and of course I won !! Won big in the parley bet. $64K in all. But did I stop ...... Need to guess ??

Insanity right !! That's a Gambler in Denial ....

Hope you like the story.