How we know that the problem gambler in denial ?
In my early recovery, I was taught ....
DENIAL stands for~ "Don't Even Notice I Am Lying"
Gambling Addict like myself are very good actor, liar and manipulator ... I used to put on a good show. I worn a mask .... No one know who I was ... Not even myself ....
Blaming others for any set of consequences usually constitutes Denial.
And Denial keeps all gambling addicts in their addictions.
Here are some of the Defence Mechanisms of a problem gambler in denial. These are some of the things which I did when I was in my addiction mode.
1. Rationalizing - I don't gamble every day, I can stop anytime I want to. I don't have a problem.
2. Minimizing - I don't gamble half of what he does. I don’t lose “that much”.
3. Cockiness - I got it made before, big time. These other folks are losers.
4. Justifying – I am forced to gamble. I have lots of debts and bills to pay. I have no choice
5. Projecting – I just need a big win, pay off everything and I will stop.
6. Blaming - You drove me to gamble - or - It is my job/family/study stress.
7. Humour - This isn't serious. Life is a joke. Life is also a gamble
8. Intellectualizing – Everyone else is in some form of gambling. This shows that I'm probably not a gambling addict. Moreover, I am smart. I have a system to beat the odds.
9. Lying - I only made a couple of bets, maybe three. The amount I owe is “ÖNLY” a few grand ….
10. Manipulation - If you help to bail me out of my debts, I'll quit gambling.
11. Accusing – You all caused me to gamble.
12. Threatening (I) - Get off my back or you will be sorry!
13. Threatening (II) – If you don’t help me to pay my debts, I will be dead. I will jump.
14. Judging - If you did this or that right, things wouldn't be so bad.
15. Explaining - Oh, I gamble because I . . .
16. Analyzing - I started gambling more because of ____, it will slow down later.
17. Arguing - I'm not an compulsive gambler, I've never lost my whole pay or I pay all my bills on time . . .
18. Defiance - I dare you to prove that I'm a compulsive gambler. I dare you prove my odds theory is wrong
19. Withdrawing / Isolation - If I don't do or say anything, they will leave me alone eventually.
20. Shouting - Leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it!
21. Silence - Let them say what they want to. I will keep quiet. Once I win, it will be ok.
22. Smiling - Just laugh it off. Nervous smile.
23. Compliance - I just do and say what they want. I will wait for the next opportunity to fight back
Am I in denial now ? Yes and No .... why ?
NO, I am not in denial
- Because I admitted I am a gambling addict. I am powerless over my gambling addiction and my life is unmanageable.
YES, I am in denial
- Because I have not accepted that this is not my game and I still think that I have an odds theory to beat the book-maker.
Blaming others for any set of consequences usually constitutes Denial.
And Denial keeps all gambling addicts in their addictions.
Here are some of the Defence Mechanisms of a problem gambler in denial. These are some of the things which I did when I was in my addiction mode.
1. Rationalizing - I don't gamble every day, I can stop anytime I want to. I don't have a problem.
2. Minimizing - I don't gamble half of what he does. I don’t lose “that much”.
3. Cockiness - I got it made before, big time. These other folks are losers.
4. Justifying – I am forced to gamble. I have lots of debts and bills to pay. I have no choice
5. Projecting – I just need a big win, pay off everything and I will stop.
6. Blaming - You drove me to gamble - or - It is my job/family/study stress.
7. Humour - This isn't serious. Life is a joke. Life is also a gamble
8. Intellectualizing – Everyone else is in some form of gambling. This shows that I'm probably not a gambling addict. Moreover, I am smart. I have a system to beat the odds.
9. Lying - I only made a couple of bets, maybe three. The amount I owe is “ÖNLY” a few grand ….
10. Manipulation - If you help to bail me out of my debts, I'll quit gambling.
11. Accusing – You all caused me to gamble.
12. Threatening (I) - Get off my back or you will be sorry!
13. Threatening (II) – If you don’t help me to pay my debts, I will be dead. I will jump.
14. Judging - If you did this or that right, things wouldn't be so bad.
15. Explaining - Oh, I gamble because I . . .
16. Analyzing - I started gambling more because of ____, it will slow down later.
17. Arguing - I'm not an compulsive gambler, I've never lost my whole pay or I pay all my bills on time . . .
18. Defiance - I dare you to prove that I'm a compulsive gambler. I dare you prove my odds theory is wrong
19. Withdrawing / Isolation - If I don't do or say anything, they will leave me alone eventually.
20. Shouting - Leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it!
21. Silence - Let them say what they want to. I will keep quiet. Once I win, it will be ok.
22. Smiling - Just laugh it off. Nervous smile.
23. Compliance - I just do and say what they want. I will wait for the next opportunity to fight back
Am I in denial now ? Yes and No .... why ?
NO, I am not in denial
- Because I admitted I am a gambling addict. I am powerless over my gambling addiction and my life is unmanageable.
YES, I am in denial
- Because I have not accepted that this is not my game and I still think that I have an odds theory to beat the book-maker.
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