Real Time Story of a Recovering Friend

Recieved yet another depressing sms for another friend

"Thanks for the support everyone but sorry I'm giving up. Bye"

I replied him sharing some of my strength in recovery and also a real time story to encouragement so that he could quickly regain his sanity ...


~ Recently, a good buddy of mine in recovery was diagnosed to have a rare blood disorder and it is a terminal illness which the doctor can't gave me his remaining "time-line. Just when he started his new life in recovery, doing ok, picking himself up .... then suddenly he lost his love one, then followed by this illness. Why God so cruel? I asked. He then shared with me "Bro, we can't beat the clock ... we can't beat God, and similarly, we can't beat the bookie, the bookmakers, the bankers, the casinos, the jp machines.
BUT I am not going down without a fight. I am going to give a good fight by living my remaining days, one day at a time to my fullest and treasuring my family and love ones around me" ~


I then told my this depressing friend: "Bro, we still have a 2nd chance, but this friend of mine doesn't have that chance anymore". He then replied me

"But understand so much from the grop but still i go and ruin my life!!

So stupid I'm. Some more doing more stupid mistake"

I understand that he has relasped and return back to gambling and incurred more damages and this time round even took loans from Mr. Shark!! His wife now wanted divorce and he has kids of age 2 and 4 ......


It must be very devastating and depressing for him. Many would not pity him. Some would say he deserved it. Some would encouraged the wife to leave quickly with the kids ...... I went through that before. I could understand how he felt as I also wanted to end it all back then...



Let us recall the incident back some time late last year, when a man killed his 2 kids and jump down to his death when his wife wanted to end their marriage at a time he was burdened with so much debts and so desparated and depressed .... I don't know what will this friend of mine choose to do. But I prayed that it's not the same sad ending as this fatal incident last year. So I thought of sharing this on the blog.

Recovery is so so painful. Why ? Becacuse we have to give up "gambling" which has been our best pal, our highs, our intimate relationship, our defence system, our hope in life, our solution to our money problem, our easliest way out in life .... to some, to give up gambling is like ending their life.....


Addict always says: "One last chance, just give me that one big win and I will stop ..... I can start all over again." Without gambling, an addict may not know how to cope with life anymore.


I am a gambling addict. I have a disease of addiction where there's no cure but it can be arrested. 45 months into recovery since I seeked help. I am still strugging. But I am making slow and steady progress. There are still alot of challenges, alot of pain but it's definitely, better than those days when I was gambling away.



Living life on life terms sucks. It take times to make changes. It may even take years and not even in this life time. Why ?


Becasue we have to unlearn our destructive way of life styles of gambling, be honest about our gambling problems. accept our illness, surrender completely, letting it go, "this is not my game", be open-minded to treatment and help, be willing to learn new postive behaviour, practice them on a daily basis.

In summary, it's H.O.W. H-honesty, O-openmindedness,W-willingness.

In recovery we seek progression, not perfection. We are not saints. We are sick people trying to get well. There may not be acceptance in our community about the fact that we are sick people, suffering from the disease of addiction. There may not be acceptance and forgiveness in the family and our love ones too. But after all the damages and destructions that we have done, the pain we have inflicted on our love ones, not only once but repeatedly .... How can we expect forgiveness and acceptance to be immediated ??

It takes time. We need to be patient but first of all, WE MUST CHOOSE RECOVERY.

Yes, we would sure to feel extremely guilty and many even became so shameful that sank down into depression .... I was told - if really feel guilty, then do the next right thing. We can still make amends when we are ready and when our victims are ready. But if we are stuck in the cycle of shame, we would not have the courage to do anything, we would just continue to isolate ourselves and returning back to gambling to seek the easliest way out of everything.


hahaha but in the midst of writing this story to share with everyone, praying for his safety .... then a friend of mine called me and told me,

"Bro, he's ok liao. He's back working .... he just text me and ask me .... "

hahaha how fast addict's mind changes ..... this is part of the disease... from one extreme to another.... no matter what, I am just glad that he choose life, pick himself up and doing the next right thing....


God Bless all of us seeking recovery.