Day 36 New Norm is Over.

Yup. Will stop at day 36. New norm is over.

No point forcing it when it has withered.  Life goes on... with or without the next bet. Something just cant be forced.

I will be ok. 

Farewell new norm. Guess the more i write... the worst i will struggle.

A powerful msg here for me.... this is the one that prompt me to end the writing.....

Let the pain slowly heal .... 

Day 35 New Norm. IT'S OK

It's ok....

When it's gone..... i need to learn to let it go.

The last word that i need to hear is trust me....

Day 34 New Norm ~ Overthinking

Overthinking is the biggest cause of all unhappiness.....

But ....

When I overthink bcos i notice everything...... it's indeed depressing. 

One's behaviour, actions and choices tell the truth!! 

Overthink??? Hahaha

Day 33. New Norm. Losing My Cool

Unable to contain my unhappiness...

I lost my cool.... but was fast to get composure and move on... shifting my focus and attention to something else

Does it really matter does it.... i will take everything as none of my business. Why shld it bothers me!

But remember this.....

All fucking fake! All fucking lies.

It's a choice is same thing keep happening..... it's a decision and no point saying sorry if it doesnt mean anything.

Fcking lies! Talk is fcking cheap. Prove it 

Day 29-32 New Norm. Pain is Gone

32 days of New Norm..... and i am adjusting quite well.

Learnt my lesson, make the changes.. ... and surprisingly pain is gone too

Day 26/27/28 New Norm ⁴²

It's more stable now after adjusting 21/90 days. 

Im able to maintain calm and peace within 

Carry on my daily life with passion and purpose. When Im placing a bet, im also calm without expectation. 

No point being angry anymore.... bcos i still love placing the bet. 

Im glad that im able to go with the flow.... let things take it course and see how it goes.

At the end of the day..... i knw that im not the one! 

How much time is left for me?? 

Just keep loving.🙌🙌🙌 bcos...

Day24/25 New Norm.

Awakening to these 4 words

静 (keep calm)

忍 (tolerance)

让 (take a step back, let it be)

淡 (take it easy and let go)

these 4 words..... and i will try my best to make this change 

I choose these 4 words. Thank You

Day23 ~ New Norm. Coping

Im definitely adjusting well and coping fine by doing my own emotions inventory for the past 23 days..

Does it works? Oh yes... i hv it as the wall paper and constantly remind myself.

I do understand.... when the trust is broken.... it gonna get real tough.

I cannot control all that is happening 

But i hv a choice how i react to it.

Move on... Let go... Let God.

I will not lose Myself !!!

Day 22 ~New Norm. 21/90

Im glad.... i survived 21/90... it's really rough for me tough. Able to channel all the energy towards run

Now working towards 90 days to build a new lifestyle without you. Bcos it's getting 过火了。

怎么忍心怪你犯了错　

是我给你自由过了火
让你更寂寞　才会陷入感情漩涡
怎么忍心让你受折磨　

是我给你自由过了火
如果你想飞　伤痛我背

Day21.New Norm ~ Keep Calm

It's over.... keep calm 

Stay Focus... Do my job well

Keep Myself fit and healthy.

And Wait patiently for next BET. 

Because......

Day 20 New Norm. Idiot

Feeling like a Idiot....... 

staring at the phone... checking livescore.... checking the odds....

BUT THERE ISN'T ANY LAST BET!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Still i keep checking.... before i sleep, waking up to pee, first thing in the morning.. 

Oh oh oh... SPURS lost the EPL cup late in the 2nd Half... and SON CRIED!% 

Seibei... fake..... all drama!! Just fake for the sake of social media perhaps? 

🤣🤣🤣

I won't win anything.... this is a scam for idiots like me. Have to learn and shift my focus .... it's really hard. Really hard this time.😭

Day19 ~ New Norm. Game Over

Yup. As what the title of this post indicated.....

Thanks for playing. Things are pretty much clearer now.

Boss trying to prepare me for things ahead i guess.... bet after last bet... and from what i saw on the cards.. i believe and over analyse with what i saw in the behaviour and actions

Can't afford to lose? Then dun play the game.... it's not for one with a weak heart le.... roller coasters high and low which is better than Sex.... it's an Art.

But dun let the loses turn me into a heartless monster.... i am not... and i wont be one. 

Im much much better than that.

Don't need to ask why.... but understand every promises even those on the cards... are merely words

IN THE END.... i just have to tell myself.... THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

 

When lonely again... the addict wld then sing...

当你孤单你会想起谁
你想不想找个'bet'来陪
你的快乐伤悲只有我能体会
让我再陪你走一回

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Day18 ~ Choice

You chosen your adventure... placed your bet and it didnt really work out.... so you wana go back to previous choice as back up?? 

Oh.... i feel guilty now placing that bet?? Har? Will bookie refund you??

Hahahahaha

I really strong... hurt me.... no problem.  I go place another bet!%

Day17. New Norm ~ Listen & Watch

If you wana know someone's mind 

LISTEN TO THEIR WORDS ....

If you wana know someone's heart

WATCH THEIR ACTIONS ....

That's how they define or classified us .... me  .... as ADDICT

As i grow older.... my eye sights become much poorer....

BUT the funny thing is that .. i see thru your bullshit much better too.

我很好骗？？ just bcos i am keeping quiet and staying away all these time.

The last bet is a Drug... toxic and for sure...

However.... I'm still full of gratitude. 🙏🙏🙏

Thanks for making my life worthwhile as it's coming to an end.

Day16 New Norm - Let it go

Let it Hurt

Let it Bleed

Let it Heal slowly

And

Let it go

Never force anything..... no point keep forcing the last bet to let you win... 

You will get cheated over and over again.... even if you said ..

我很好骗。。。。 but it's ok. Remember what i said in the earlier post....

It all starts from Nothing..... and looking at one's behaviour / actions..

It will be ending with Nothing too.

But Addict being Addict.... with the last bet... 有都赌有希望！！

I hate that really....but 

Stay Real or Stay Away. I will respect that

Day15 - Nothing

Maybe ..... Maybe not...

This love hate relationship with the Last Bet ... till today... i realise that it's nothing... started from nothing ...

Keep chasing the last bet.... 

Keep putting in effort last bet....

Keep praying for the last bet....

Keep staying real and faithful to the last bet....

Always staying one side and waiting

Like a tool... a toy.... if there's seem to be no other punters giving you attention... you turn your attention to me...

Stupidly i gave in..... when there's othet punters seeking your attention...

You just fck me one side.... this is cruel.

But it's ok. It's my choice. It's a insult that you said i keep fcking up... fck up fck down... really an insult...

But it's ok. Everything starts from nothing.....

Day14 - Staying Away

If things aren't adding up well..... just like my last bet.... then i hv no choice but to start subtracting .... 

This is Maths of Life.

Im just staying real ... not fake or wanting to create another drama..

Yup... no doubt that im still struggling with the last bet.... but i always stay real. 

If social media is more important than a real person...... 

If updating social media is more important than a real person.....

You are crazy and fake.

This world is simply crazy!! So don't say we addicts are crazy... 

We are Real. Not fake. When we fall, we pick ourselves up and keep going 

Day 13. New Norm - Change

Many said I change alot ......

But the truth is.....

The "Alot" CHANGED ME !!! 

No matter what changes i made....

I wont lose myself... My identity 

Day 12 New Norm ~ REGRET

"Fucking me up behind my back: with every bet...... 

老天有眼.... let me hv the chance and hear it for myself ... simply amAzing. How poisonous it can be!! 

Now the truth is out!!

The last bet is toying me... playing game with me.... making use of me and stab me from behind.

You will Regret this.... it's  corrosive.

You can hide..... and you can pretend all the time.... fake it all the time....

BUT ....