Open-Mind

"Today when someone points out a shortcoming, my first reaction may be defensive. I know there will always be room for growth. I am still learning”

Recovery is a process that brings about change in my life. I need that change if I am to continue my growth toward freedom.

It’s important that I remain open-minded when others point out my shortcomings, for they are bringing to light opportunities for us to change and grow. Especially those shortcomings which I thought were my strength.

Reacting defensively limits my ability to receive the help they are offering to me; letting go of my defense opens the door to change, growth, and new freedom.

Each day in my recovery process will bring an opportunity for further change and growth. The more I learn to greet change with an open mind and heart, the more I will grow and the more comfortable I will become with my recovery

My Struggles with My Discoveries....

While working my Step 1 and Step 4, I came to realize the following traits of my gambler's instinct, gambler's personality and the false belief system which previously these were not presented so clear to me, Or perhaps during that past 18 months, going through coming clean with love ones, family and my bosses, gaining recovery knowledge, facing criminal charges and imprisonment, has kept my thoughts, my heart and my soul focus on stopping, staying stop ~~ for a possible miracle in recovery.......

But now when those are over, when I have served my terms, when my loved ones, family and friends felt that I have learnt my lessons well, learnt it the hard way, I would not repeat the same mistake, I can be normal again....... The pressure of staying stop suddenly is gone ...... the false belief system of I can resume as a social gambler or controlled gambling is possible because I have learnt enough of / about gambling addiction which would prevent me from returning to my previous destructive life pattern.

The hope or perhaps the false hope that God will now be merciful to me and grant me a huge win to recover all my losses returns because I have stayed clean.... because I have made changes..... because I have trust God ...... All the false belief system, the addict within starts to play the mind game....

I recalled what Apostle Paul wrote In Roman Chap 7, verse 15-17, about struggling with sins....

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me”

I have check with my therapist and told him about my guilt, shame and pain in my self discovery ....... I struggled and still struggling with my self-discovery about the addict me and I check with him whether my discoveries are normal and common to all gambling addicts and the answer to my below questions is a simple ~~ “YES, your are right.”

1) Most gambling addicts are insecured, fearful and mainly gambled to escape emotions, to fell useful, empower and gaining control of himself. -- I DID THAT !!

2) All gambling addicts, whether in recovery or not, still harbors that false dreams of huge win,restoring one's status and hoping to prove a point to prove to others that they are ok and normal. -- I HARBOR THAT !!

3) All gambling addicts still have a deep desire to regain controlled-gaming ... the false belief system that they are good and with more experience and safety nets, they can achieve that “control”, especially when things, situation and life has become calm and pressure off. -- I HAVE THAT !!

4) All these above 3 points are usually deep hidden, and gamblers in recovery would deny them and some are even not aware about them....... -- I DISCOVERED THAT !!

I am in the process of change .....

I am in the process of learning to live life on life's term .....

I am still learning about my recovery in gambling addiction ....

I am still trying to rebuild my relationships, my foundation and myself ....

BUT It's only ONE DAY @ A TIME

ACCEPTANCE

The Way to Serenity & Peace of mind.

I struggle to live life on life's terms in recovery. Often, I was advise : "If you can't solve your problems, learn to live with them and in-spite of them"

"Oh sure ... sure ... just like that.... it's just so simple.... I thought...."

- - Just accept it that there are people, places and things that you cannot change them. In recovery, we use the serenity prayers - - written by Reinhold Niebuhr.

It was shared by many that you simply ask God to give you the ability to take people, places and things as they are, if you cannot change them. We can seldom change people, especially those that we have harmed or traunmatised during the course of our active addiction. We cannot expect them to be delighted or grateful for our recovery. BUT we can Change ourselves.

Acceptance is the only real source of tranquillity, serenity, peace. It is alos known as "Surrender", "Bowing to the Inevitable", "Joining 'em". It can be acquired if you have an urgent desire to help yourself and are willing to ask God to help you.

In practise:

Face up to the problems that is driving you wild, and say: " Is there anything I can do about it right now today?" If there is do it ! Don't put it off another minute. If there's nothing you can do about it today, accept it and forget it.

I don't get over a high wall by banging my head against it - I will just get a headache and a bruised head. If I sit down in a shade of the wall and say "MAYBE I'm better off on this side, afterall !!"

I am keeping the faith, and trusting God will make things turn out better for me and for everyone else around me.

Jeremaiah17:7
"Blessed is the man who trust in GOD, whose condfidence is in HIM"

Share Your Story, Experience and Strength Here !!

Dear fellow members and friends.

Come and Share your story, experience and strength over here in this blog. It may be you recovery journey so far, your ways of staying away from first bet, dealing with debts, banks and loansharks etc.....

~ ~ "The best help for an addict is another fellow addict!" ~ ~

Take a look at the right side of the blog. I have 3 songs available for your pleasure listening while you share your story, experience and strength with fellow members here ~ in this blog title !!!!

Understand and Apply the 12 Step Recovery Program

When compulsive gamblers read the 12 steps of recovery for the first time, their reactions can vary:

a) some fear it ..... "it is an impossible task"

b) some denied it ...... "I dont need to do all these things"

c) most common, some are just so sick they dont understand what it is being asked of them so they put it aside

Whatever the reaction, do not panic. When the higher power gave us the 12 steps, he also gave us plenty of time and better still, he gave all of us the same time --- THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

We believe that Step 1 - - " We admitted we were powerless over gambling, that our lives had become unmanageable" - - is virtually a precondition for all the rest. Unless we can admit and accept that gambling has us "licked", that there is no way we can win, we will struggle.

However, we also understand that some of us "just need to place a bet" ... and it's not about winning but about dependence on gambling to achieve the mood change he/she required. Many of us used gambling to cope with our emotions....fear , stress, anxiety, escape life, guilt, depressed ......

The acceptance of Step 1 can keep people free of gambling on its own but, as has been said so often, stopping gambling is not enough. So our predecessors, in their wisdom, laid down the other 11 steps steps of recovery which will enable us to live normal, decent lives and play our part in the society within which we live.

Recovery is a process of Change,

Changes takes time and is progressive in nature.

You may not have stop gambling when you join us in the program, you could progressively achieve total abstinence from gambling. It's one day at a time. As one of the member reflected :

"I still punt, but not the way I used to. I started to have thoughts of my love ones and family each time I place a bet..... sometimes I do walk away without betting, sometimes I place a small bet. It's not about winning, but allowing it to calm down my struggles within. I havce learned to place enough safety nets while I progresses .... I have my love one (my wife) to check on me, I don't hold extra money or credit card or even atm card. I take daily allowance from my wife..... hopefully as I progress in the recovery, there is no need for me to place even a small bet anymore ...."

There is a tremendous amount of knowledge and wisdom in the GA meeting rooms.... It's not just abt 12steps..... it's about each and everyone of our experience and strength in recovery, helping us to learn to live life on life's term, encouraging members to stay out of trouble due to gambling, going back home safely each day!!

There are many ways to recover, take whatever works for you..... and if you can't find any, try this simple, structured 12 steps program.

It will enable you to know yourself better.

It will set you at peace with yourself and fellow human beings.

It will bring you serenity and allow you to manage your life with some dignity, self-respect and the love of your love ones, famliy and fellow man.

Right Believing Leads To Right Living

Important ~ Right Believing

1) "GOD is never tempted to do wrong, And HE never tempts anyone else either ..... "

2) "What is impossible from human perspective is possible with GOD!"

- - Is anything too hard for Our Creator ??

3) "GOD is Love"

- - The unfailing love and faithfulness of GOD never ends .....

4) "GOD will never condemn you!!"

- - The one who has the right to condemn you and judge you, chose instead to send HIS beloved son to die for you, for the forgiveness of your sins......

5) "GOD is Faithful"

- - HE will always find a way out for you when you are tempted ..... HE will never fail you or forsake you .....

6) "Humble yourself before GOD, resist the accuser within & he will flee from you"

- - Draw close to GOD and GOD will draw close to you......

7) GOD has promised a way out of every temptation ..... HE is the solution .....

As this is a spiritual program, right spiritual beliefs will leads to right living. 12th step program is a program of change .... Changes can only take places with right believing and right thinking !!

Old Dreams Needn’t Die

“Lost dreams awaken and new possibilities arise.”

Most of us had dreams when we were young. Whether we dreamed of a dynamic career, a large and loving family, or travels abroad, our dreams died when our gambling addiction took hold. Anything we ever wanted for ourselves was cast away in our pursuit of our gambling career ..... the pursuit of the false hope of a big win....

Our dreams didn’t go beyond the next BET and the euphoria we hoped it would bring. Now in recovery, we find a reason to hope that our lost dreams could still come true. No matter how old we are, how much our addiction has taken from us, or how unlikely it may seem, our freedom from active addiction gives us the freedom to pursue our ambitions.

We may discover that we’re very talented at something, or find a hobby we love, or learn that continuing our education can bring remarkable rewards. We used to put most of our energy into spinning excuses and rationalizations for our failures. Now we can use our energy to do whatever we can, one day at a time, to the best of our ability ... to work towards fulfilling our dreams.

We will not be anxious of anything. Our heart will be filled with gratitude, thanks-giving and in everything, we will pray about it and turn it our to the care of God.

Today, we go forward and make use of the many opportunities life presents to us. We may be amazed at what we’re capable of. With our foundation of recovery, success, fulfillment, and satisfaction are within our reach at last.

Just for today:

Starting today, I’ll do whatever I can to realize my dreams.